Erin Burnett ran a segment on CNN last night asking: “Is the Tea Party dead?” The segment also quoted a Politico interview in which a Tea Party leader reportedly admitted “There’s Not Enough Money.”
3 Parties We Could See Replacing The Tea Party
1. A party that does not make an impossible-to-keep written pledge to never raise taxes on anyone, under any circumstances, even if aliens from Mars start abducting all low and middle income wage-earners.
Hmmm… the tax rates of the wealthiest Americans who funded the Tea Party may have went up… are they really wondering why there is “not enough money?”
Hint: we don’t think the money is gone because aliens from Mars abducted their donors.
2. A Lemon Berry Intuition Fruitopia Tea Party. Coca-Cola introduced this beverage in 1995. Ironically, that kind of intuition was not good enough at predicting beverage popularity, as now you might have to drive all the way to a movie theater in Canada to get any Fruitopia product, which is a long to drive from Texas to see the newest Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie.
A great place to enjoy your favorite Coke liquid beverage, not to be confused with a Koch Brothers’ favorite liquid, which may be oil.
Still, lemon berry intuition may be a good thing in Congress, because any kind of intuition might lead to decisions that improve Congress’ current 17.2% approval rating, reported by Fox News.
3. An S-Club Party. If you remember the 1999 hit from British pop group S-Club 7, “There ain’t no Party like an S-Club party.”
On the downside, the song does not promise that the group will prevent America’s credit rating from ever being downgraded from “AAA” to “SSSSSSS.”