Amy Poehler and Nick Kroll on Parks and Rec. (NBC)
-Amy Poehler has been spotted looking cozy with Nick Kroll (who plays radio DJ The Douche on Parks and Rec, and most recently appeared as Nick’s brother on New Girl)? I approve! (I’m also very jealous that she’ll get to hear him do El Chupacabra whenever she wants.)
-Remember all those John Travolta sexual-assault claims? Gawker has obtained a report of insurance claims made against his production company showing four other parties privately alleged “sexual assault” within the last year, including the actor’s longtime stunt double, his former driver, and a physical therapist. Travolta‘s insurer allegedly paid out $84,500 against two of the six claims.
-Angelina Jolie continues to be a better person than all of us combined by opening an all-girls school just outside of Kabul, Afghanistan.
-This was Lindsay Lohan‘s idea of an April Fools’ joke, proving she’s terrible at EVERYTHING.
-Lindsay is refusing to leave Brazil, despite everyone’s advice. (Not my advice. Stay there as long as you’d like, Linds! How about forever? Does forever work for you?)
-Also, why is show proudly showing off all of her weird bruises in these bikini pics?
-Speaking of bikini pics, more photos have surfaced of Jennie Garth getting “caught” by the paparazzi while vacationing in Mexico. I put caught in quotation marks because those shots are better lit and staged than most films.
-Emma Watson channels Julia Roberts on the cover of British GQ.
-Best birthday present ever? Neil Patrick Harris is on an elaborate, cross-country scavenger hunt that was planned by his awesome partner David Burtka.
-God bless David Letterman for skewering Shia LaBeouf over his Alec Baldwin beef on last night’s Late Night!
-Jimmy Fallon and Jay Leno pretended to be BFFs last night by doing a duet to the tune of West Side Story’s “Tonight.”
-Is Gwyneth Paltrow‘s new book secretly a hip-hop manifesto?
-I just started watching Game of Thrones and am only four episodes in, but I’m already obsessing over Jon Snow. This adorable interview with Kit Harington about how he likes girls who eat burgers isn’t helping.
-Katie Holmes might be dating a jazz musician. Yay?
-Beyonce and Andre 3000 are going to cover Amy Winehouse’s “Back to Black” for the Great Gatsby soundtrack. Yes, please!
-Taye Diggs is pretty much perfect at everything…except rapping.
-So what exactly does Drake get up to at “5 AM in Toronto”? Watch his new music video and find out.
-Speaking of music videos, the new Flaming Lips video is disturbing, weird, and definitely NSFW.
-This Sunday’s Mad Men premiere will be a Christmas episode. What’s with TV shows being unable to line up to the real world anymore? Last week’s Revenge was Halloween-themed. Um, not that I watch Revenge or anything. *cough*
-Could Rosario Dawson and Michael Fassbender possibly be an item?
-It’s a good day for Canadian-produced TV: Orphan Black just set a new ratings record for Space. It also opened strong in the US.
-If you’re at a wedding at the same hotel Conan O’Brien is staying at, feel free to Tweet him and invite him to attend. ‘Cause he will.
-The Vampire Diaries spinoff, The Originals, is officially a thing. There are pictures now and everything.
-The trailer for iSteve, Funny Or Die’s Steve Jobs movie, doesn’t really feature a lot of Justin Long. Which is weird, because isn’t his casting what makes it funny?
-Newly engaged Hayden Panettiere says she was “born to be a mother.” Well, judging from her Nashville performance, she clearly wasn’t born to be an actress.
-Magic Johnson‘s son is kind of amazing!
-The red band trailer for The End has arrived. Watch lots of famous people try to kill each other!