When I was sixteen years old, I excitedly told one of my coworkers, a teenager like myself, about how excited I was to go to an Indigenous camp the next week. This would be one of the first huge interactions with other Indigenous people outside of my father and I was ready to meet other kids like me, who may have been previously isolated from their culture due to their white-passing appearance. However, upon hearing that I was Indigenous, my coworker lifted his arm, tan and golden brown, next to my freckled pasty-white arm, and told me that if I was Indigenous, he must be "super Native".
Interactions like this have been common all my life, no matter how much I immersed myself in learning about the Navajo people. Even now, when I read books featuring Indigenous protagonists and/or written by Indigenous authors, usually they are dark-skinned, with black hair and live on the reservation. While these experiences are good and valid, they were not my experience, and I felt apart, even as I celebrated the representation in those books. All of this backstory is to show just how much I truly hold dear in my heart Colby Wilkens's debut novel, If I Stopped Haunting You, which features both a white-passing Indigenous female lead and a more "traditional" looking Indigenous male lead.
Cherokee horror author Penelope Skinner has only ever wanted to write horror stories featuring Indigenous protagonists in a culturally appropriate way-however, since an ill-fated panel where she threw a book at her co-panelist and popular Choctaw horror author, Neil Storm, Penelope has not written a word since. Penelope doesn't regret the reason why she threw the book-Neil believed that his book was groundbreaking for Indigenous representation, when it actually reenforced harmful stereotypes-but she does regret how it has made her a publishing pariah. So, when she has the chance to join a writer's retreat in a "haunted" Scottish castle, Penelope takes it, only to find that Neil is also seizing the same opportunity. Since their doomed panel, Neil has also been unable to write anything new, haunted by Penelope's accusations of betraying his people and writing stories with no soul. The two intend to stay as far away as possible but are drawn together both by the haunted doings of the castle and their repressed attraction to each other. As Penelope and Neil work together to solve the real-life ghost mystery, they also realize that maybe being lovers is better than being enemies.
If I Stopped Haunting You is a fun romp through an alternate genre of romance. I am not the biggest horror reader, but I enjoyed the eeriness that Wilkens evokes through her prose. I also enjoyed the sexuality and racial diversity of the characters; Penelope is bisexual, fellow retreater Daniella is sapphic, and Penelope, Daniella, and Neil are Indigenous. If you are someone who enjoys reading metafiction about writing and publishing, then you'll love Penelope and Neil's various discussions about the editing process and how it affects Indigenous authors.
However, my favorite part is how Wilkens handled the discussions around being Indigenous and what the world expects from an Indigenous person. As you can see from the cover, Penelope is White-passing, and it is mentioned that she is not enrolled in her tribe due to the bureaucratic red tape that is involved. However, her Indigenousness is never questioned by the people around her-Neil even says this quote that I hold close to my heart: "Believe that you're enough. You don't need to be enrolled; you don't need to look Native to be Native. You're Native, and so long as you know, that's enough. There will always be someone who says otherwise, but they're buying into a system created by colonizers. You're enough, Penelope Skinner."
If you'd like a fun read that has surprisingly deep moments of discourse, then you can preorder your copy of If I Stopped Haunting You through Bookshop, your local indie bookstore, or your library, as it comes out October 15th. Comp titles include: Book Lovers by Emily Henry, The Truth According to Ember by Danica Nava, and A Guest In The House by Em Carroll.
Dóó ni'áásh. Until we meet again!