Inauguration What?: Bo Obama’s Take On Today’s Events
Today is my last day of an insane amount of work…until Wednesday. I wish I could write something intelligent, but instead, I’m going to write a recap of the thoughts of Obama’s dog, Bo, on inauguration morning.
7am: Go from dog bed to Malia’s bed, and try to crawl under the covers. Covers too difficult to navigate. Settle for pillow by her bed.
7:15am: Daddy Barooki comes in to wake up Malia
7:16am: Daddy Barooki crawls next to us and gives us both lots of kisses on head. I squirm. Want to sleep more
7:18am: Mommy Michelle comes in and starts yelling that the dog shouldn’t be in the bed. Don’t know what she means, but run to corner to cower because of yelling.
7:20am: Have to pee
7:21am: Have to pee
7:22am: Have to pee
7:23am: Have to pee and let Daddy Barooki know it by sitting in front of him and barking in his face
7:24am: Have to pee
7:25am: Have to pee
7:26am: Malia goes to closet with Mommy Michelle, and Daddy Barooki walks me out in hallway and passes to me to big gigantic man with yummy treats in his pocket. “Walk?” he says.
7:27am: “Walk?” I say to him
7:28am: “Walk?”
7:29am: “Walk?”
7:30am: Look up at big gigantic man, and bark at him, “Walk?”
7:31am: Mommy Michelle’s social secretary comes down hall carrying pretty dress. She smells like food. I start whining in anticipation.
7:32am: Malia comes out wearing casual Saturday outfit, and walks me out to yard.
7:33am: Pull
7:33:02am: Heel!
7:33am: Pull
7:33:02am: Heel!
7:34am: Get to spot that smells strongly of me. Add more smell to spot in form of large stream of urine. Save pooping for after breakfast because pooping feels best when waiting.
7:35am: Walk back to house, into Malia’s room
7:36am: Nap time!
8:30am: Awoken to lots of yelling. Assume sour man Uncle Boehner with nasty stale milk biscuits in pocket back. Immediately sniff to see what is going on.
8:31am: Just Sa-Sa, yelling at Malia for stealing headband. Back to sleep.
8:40am: “Breakfast?” I hear someone say, and run towards door, howling.
8:41am: Follow Sa-Sa and Malia, wearing nice dresses, down very long way to breakfast. They are skipping, and I run up next to them, nipping at their hands. Social secretary comes from no where and says, “Bad boy, no jumping!” Then she says to girls, “Watch your dresses.” I bark at her, “Leave us alone, sour grapes!” which is what Daddy Barooki calls her to Mommy Michelle.
8:42am: Arrive at kitchen. Delicious breakfast awaits in corner.
8:43am: Done with entire breakfast, and make way over to table.
8:44am: “Food?” I nudge at Malia’s hand.
8:45am: “Food?”
8:46am: Mommy Michelle says, “Bo, enough.”
8:47am: Feelings hurt. Lie in dog bed near window and watch ruckus outside on lawn.
8:48am: Daddy Barooki comes in. I wag tail, and he gives me piece of banana he’s eating. “Barooki,” Mommy Michelle warns. “No more.” I shoot her dirty look.
8:55am: Breakfast done. “Pooping?” I say expectantly by turning my head to side.
8:56am: “Pooping?”
8:57am: “Pooping?”
8:58am: “Pooping?” No one seems to be paying attention to me. Lots of running around, fixing outfits and hair. Must be big day.
8:59am: “Pooping?” I whine.
9am: “Pooping?”
9:01am: Give up, and poop near kitchen counter.
9:02am: Lots of shouting, think Uncle Boehner is back, start racing around kitchen and barking.
9:03am: Everyone just yelling because my poop is very large. “Bad boy,” Mommy Michelle says. Feeling hurts. Go back to dog bed.
9:05am: Everyone suddenly departs kitchen leaving me alone with cook. “Hello?” I say at the window.
9:06am: “Hello?”
9:07am: Scratch at window and whine, “Hello?”
9:08am: “They’ll be back soon,” cook tells me. “Lie down.”
9:09am: “When are they coming back?” I whine. “When are they coming back?”
9:10am: “When are they coming back?” I ask cook by jumping up on her, and scratching her leg. ”When are they coming back?”
She hands me special dog bone with marrow from freezer. I take it back to my bed. Lick for indeterminate amount of time. Then sleeping.