If One Day Planes Would Be Announcement Free…

By Nogarlicnoonions @nogarlicnoonion

I can’t stand hearing flight attendants talking during flights anymore. Talking, talking, talking and saying nothing. Do they need to express themselves every second?

We are in 2013 and there are more efficient, less stressful ways to communicate onboard. But no, we are destined to listen to flight security procedures before the flight takes over, and then hear the captain quickly welcome passengers; after that comes another welcoming by the chief of cabin and the talking doesn’t seem to have an end.

Music to your ears again and again:

  1. The captain or sometimes his assistant starts by a welcome note that doesn’t seem to have an end, telling you stories about the flight, temperature and sometimes the countries we’re going to pass over and good luck understanding what they are staying as most of the time is just noise
  2. Afterwards, the pilot again reassures passengers that the plane is leaving in few minutes.And here the security procedures reminder starts.
  3. As soon as the plane reaches a thousand meters, the chief of cabin takes over welcoming you again on behalf of the airline -as if we care- repeating the flight’s schedule and timing
  4. Few minutes afterwards, introduction of today’s meal is announced
  5. We are halfway there and now it’s shopping time. A brief introduction of the shopping possibilities as if we were in a supermarket
  6. It’s the captain again. It seems boredom has haunted the cockpit. And here, he welcomes you again on behalf of the airline company, -we chose this airline because we had no other choice and we really don’t care-, and here he starts to express himself in style: “Who I am, what I do, above where I’m flying you, when do we reach, what is the temperature… And so on”
  7. Time to land, it’s hostess time: Let’s prepare for landing
  8. We have landed: great news! You are welcomed on land like of the chief of cabin was the minister of tourism

More than eight interferences, repeated twice in English and the local language. That makes them “16″

The world begs for silence:

  • If you want to talk and say nonsense, please do it on the main speakers but not on private headphones.
  • When someone’s sleeping they don’t want to be disturbed…
  • Have minimal training on how to speak clearly in the PA and not spit and talk gibberish
  • Aren’t the security flyers available on every seat for a purpose? They are enough to remind us of the security procedures that we hear a hundred times already.Exactly like menus are distributed, other things can be as well. Flight schedule: mealtime, availability of duty free goods, flight time and all things we have to know…
  • For the love of GOD stop talking about smoking. Smoking has been banned in all public spaces, who the hell will smoke on the plane? Enough smoking madness!

Like everything, updates in the law are needed from time to time. The world has been flying for a century with the same inflight rules and regulations. Dear IATA, passengers are in distress. I’m sure that many of you out there have psychological problems due to flight announcements, especially if you travel weekly…isn’t it time to say no, to ask for change?

We ask for peace:

These are our ears they’re massacring. A flight is an escape from the chaotic world, where no phones and no Internet – in most flights – follow you. I just want to put my headphones on and enjoy some classical music or a nice movie.

Adding to that, reducing the lights during all the flight would be a great idea as well. I wish, pray and hope that one-day flights will be announcements free.