I used to believe that everything would be okay.
That there was nothing that couldn't be fixed by an apology
Or a Band-aid
Or a hug.
I used to believe that things would always be as they were.
That achievement and love and health were more than just luck.
That I would be happy and surrounded
Forever.
I used to believe that tragedy only happened to other people.
Until one day there was a seizure. And cancer.
But still he was okay.
But not forever.
I used to believe that a baby would make things whole again.
A beautiful child with bright blue eyes and a happy smile.
He was perfect.
But now he cannot speak.
I used to believe in science and medicine.
That whatever could be diagnosed could be cured.
I used to believe that "what if" was only pointless worrying.
But now
I know better.
This poem was inspired by the novel If I Fall, If I Die by Michael Christie. The book is a coming of age tale of a boy who, because of his mother's agoraphobia, spends his childhood inside his house. Join From Left to Write on January 22 as we discuss If I Fall, If I Die. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.