Growing up as the youngest child with three sporty older siblings, I always felt like the odd one out. I was the slightly chubby, lazy one who never got picked for school teams and hated gym, while they always ran marathons and triathlons.
That story stuck with me as I got older. In my 20s, I led a hectic life in London, acting and auditioning for roles, and doing some modeling. I'm 6 feet tall and because my size fluctuated between size 12 and 16, I was labeled 'plus size'. At my height, carrying extra weight made me feel big.
I didn't hate my body - I've always believed in body positivity - but society's pressure to be thin was constant. I didn't have a good relationship with food, I would binge on packets of chocolate chip cookies or diet to the extreme while going out drinking with my friends. My weight suffered.
I went on my first diet, the Atkins, at age 15, and then spent my 20s yo-yo dieting, trying every new diet under the sun - Atkins, lemon juice cleansers, the Skinny Bitch diet, the cabbage soup diet, replacing meals with baby food. You name it, I've done it, about 20 pieces. I even tried taking laxatives.
I wanted quick results, and I would follow the diets for a week or two, feel terrible, and give up. Likewise, I dipped my toe in and out doing cardio or aerobics. I joined a gym and jumped on a treadmill for half an hour, but after a month I got bored.
When I had my children Rufus, eight, and Heidi, six, I thought, "It's the first time in my life I don't have to worry about food or my size." With Heidi I gained the 5th during pregnancy, but after that I had trouble losing it again. I weighed 15st, the heaviest I've ever been.
Cooking for the children made the situation even worse. It's so easy to finish their dinner without even noticing. Then I would eat later or snack on unhealthy food because I wasn't really hungry. Lockdowns made matters worse, and I tried to lose weight the wrong way again, with yet another fad diet.
I felt like I was failing at everything: being a wife, a mother, and even taking care of myself. I had taught dance at a performing arts school for several years, and later bought it myself. Because I was self-employed, I hardly had maternity leave; I barely gave birth before I went back to work. Meanwhile, my husband David, who is also an actor, was busy getting standing ovations in the West End while I was eating comfort food at home. I felt like I had lost myself, even though he has always been incredibly supportive and never cared about how big I am.
Things came to a head about two years ago. My weight crept back towards the 15th. I had all kinds of health problems, including plantar fasciitis, an inflammation in the foot, and I was taking medication for anxiety. The doctor continued to test me for type 2 diabetes.
Something clicked in my head and I thought, "I can't live like this anymore." I decided I was going to make a lasting change and with both children in primary school I had more time to do it the right way. I first focused on nutrition and put myself into a calorie deficit by eating a high-protein diet of 1,500 calories per day. I was incredibly disciplined for the first three months. I weighed everything and kept track of it in the Nutracheck app. It's quite difficult at first, but you soon get used to the portion size. The only day I didn't count calories was Christmas.
I also committed to taking 10,000 steps a day. I initially didn't do any additional exercises because I felt too self-conscious and uncomfortable in my workout gear to step foot in a gym. But when I started working with a fitness coach three months later, the game changed. He set me a more sustainable target of 1900 calories per day and made me realize that eating too little was not good. At the same time, I started seeing a therapist because I realized that a lot of my issues with food were related to how I felt about myself. I always felt too tall and never good enough, and I was very used to rejection.
The point is, we can eat more than we think we can and still lose weight - but what happens instead is that people go on diets, pick a number of like 1200 calories out of the air, and that's not enough to live on. Our bodies and brains are designed to keep us alive, so that you eat, or stop, or restart everything.
After losing the first stone, I started doing strength training three times a week, along with one to two cardio sessions. I'm not a natural runner, but I pushed myself to improve my 5K time from 40 minutes to 27 minutes. About six months later I started lifting heavier weights. In 9th place I was at my leanest for this year's London Marathon - something I never thought I could do - and I'm now around 10th.
I'm in a maintenance zone. It was hard at first to eat 2,300 calories a day again, but I trust that my body needs that fuel. I rarely weigh myself. I don't count calories anymore. I have total freedom in the sense that I don't feel guilty if I have a drink or a cookie. I am also not driven by addiction, while previously I was addicted to sugar, carbohydrates and alcohol.
I live my life with an 80/20 split. Eighty percent of the time I will be disciplined and train, and 20 percent of the time I will treat myself - that could be a night out with the girls, or a takeaway. I don't let it get in the way of my fun. But I also don't have the mentality of "Now that it's the weekend, I can do what I like." There are no 'cheat days'.
At one point, friends worried that I was losing too much. But I never starved myself. I always had confidence in my coach and in the fact that I was getting stronger. Every now and then people say mean things on Instagram, like, "You used to look cute and chubby, but now you look malnourished." But I'm not. I'm completely healthy, fit and strong, which has boosted my confidence - but best of all I have so much energy. And I'm proud that I got through this, because as a child I felt like the one who didn't see things through.
I recently completed a personal training qualification. So now I spend every day inspiring other women to get fit and strong and helping them lose weight healthily. It's perfect for me because I can turn my hard-won expertise into a meaningful career and empower others to prioritize their health.
See Instagram As told to Lebby Eyres @mummyjongleur to learn more about Tara's online health and fitness coachingDiet: previously
Breakfast
Toast, croissant, cereal at 5am when the kids got up.
Second breakfast
Snacks high in carbohydrates, such as chocolate treats or shrimp cocktail chips.
Lunch
Pesto sandwich or pasta with the kids.
Dinner
Frozen products such as fish fingers and oven chips or ready-made meals such as lasagna.
Snacks
Toast, chocolate chip cookies and chips.
Alcohol
A glass of wine that could turn into a bottle.
Diet: na
Breakfast
Protein porridge, or eggs with chicken sausages, with fiber from berries or avocado.
Lunch
A simple whole wheat wrap with chicken and melted cheese - from the air fryer!
Dinner
Balanced plate with 30-40 g of proteins such as chicken or oily fish, carbohydrates such as pasta or potatoes, and vegetables. I love curries with lentils or chickpeas.
Snacks
100 calorie chips or a small piece of cake.
Alcohol
Now I rarely drink at home, but at the weekend I do have a glass of Prosecco with friends.
Exercise: previously
For
Bursts of running or cardio at the gym.
After
Two to three mornings in the gym with strength training with one or two cardio sessions such as HIIT or a Hyrox session. Plus extra exercise, such as 10,000 steps a day or cycling.