I was speaking live on BBC3 Counties Radio this morning in regards to breast not always being best.
Forcing mothers to believe that breastfeeding their baby is best is doing nothing more than making the women who can’t or do not want to breastfeed feel bad about themselves. I was 19 when I had my first baby, I believed the baby books and falsely believed that breastfeeding would make me a better mother, I hated it, did not like the feeling, I felt like a cow being milked. It was painful at times and I grew to resent my baby, who wanted to suck continuously from me. I received no support and even my mother in law at the time, told me my boobs were far too small and her granddaughter was being starved. I suffered for 6 weeks before I switched to the bottle and I only wish I had done it sooner.
Formula milk is getting closer to having the same nutritional values as breast milk and mothers must be respected for the choice they make. The argument that breastfeeding with save the NHS money in the long term because breast is best and will prevent illness in a child later in life needs to be compared too how many women will suffer mental health problems being forced into breastfeeding their baby. How many mothers will suffer from feelings of failure, depression and will grow to resent their baby like I did? My daughter is now 13 and I still have attachment issues with her, this all comes back to feeling that I failed her as a mother when she was a bay, being led to believe that I let her down because I could not continue to feed her correctly.
It is not the most natural thing in the world to all of us. Breast is not always best and a mother should do what is best for her, her baby and her circumstances.
I choose to bottle-feed the further 5 children I went onto have, but when my 4th baby, another daughter was born at 37 weeks I did give breastfeeding another try, my husband felt uncomfortable with me getting my boobs out in front of others and when we had friends or family call, I would go upstairs to feed, again I did not like the feeling and turned to the bottle 2 weeks later. This time I did not feel guilty. I admit when I attended a local playgroup I did feel judged as breastfeeding mothers turned their noses up at me as I pulled out a bottle and yes I did feel slightly less adequate to them, but … I also reminded myself that I was a happy mother therefore that meant a happy baby and that was what was important.
I was diagnosed with bipolar when I was 4 months pregnant with my 6th baby, there was no feeding options available to me, due to the medication I would be taking after birth, I would not be able to breastfeed, which brings me to other issues.. Not all mothers can breastfeed, there are problems that can arise be that medications, tongue tie, nipple and latching problems, some women are unable to generate enough milk, not all women can breastfeed, are these women failing their babies too?
This so called natural thing can leave mothers feeling ashamed when breastfeeding does not come natural and they are not doing it right yet afraid to ask for help since everyone else can do it so perfectly. Some mothers become socially isolated if they do not feel confident feeding in public. How can that be the best thing for a mother or a baby?
I run a Facebook support group for mums, I also own The Real Supermum Blog, an award winning Parenting blog just voted in the top 100 mums in business awards thanks to Mums Club, that offers real life support to mums and on there you will see many mothers sharing their own breastfeeding experiences, what clearly stands out from these experiences is there is still a lack of support given to mothers who do choose to breastfeed and judgment is still attached to a bottle feeding mums choice.
Bottle feeding also has added benefits, it means dads can get involved with feeding, mums have more freedom and you can eat and drink what you like without worrying you will be harming your baby.
Your baby needs you to be happy, confident, and capable much more than it needs breast milk
It is mums who know best, not the breast.