I'm Gonna Have to Move Those Magnets Further Up on the Fridge

By Pearl

The Cat Labor Laws have been posted on the fridge.
Now who do you suppose did that?
Of the two cats, I just don’t believe Dolly Gee Squeakers (formerly of the Humane Society Squeakers) has it in her.
Dolly’s concern regarding labor laws and fair play go no further than making sure that I continue to labor (the cat box in particular is a source of nail-biting concern for her); and as far as fair play is concerned, Dolly’s integrity is called into question on a regular basis.
Witness the Ball of Yarn Fiasco, which Ball she took, by force, from Liza Bean.
Amusingly enough, Dolly Gee then found herself completely entwined in said yarn, the result of dragging it around in circles, in and out of furniture legs to the point that she became lashed to a chair.
Liza Bean Bitey, of the Minneapolis Biteys, laughed until she fell over.
No, Dolly’s not the one concerned that she may be asked to do a little work around the house.
That leaves Liza Bean as my prime suspect.
To be honest, I am a strong Labor/Union proponent.  In my dyed-in-the-wool Minnesota-ness, I stand firm on the side of the worker.
And I would never cross a picket line.
Still.  Have you seen the Cat Labor Laws?
Let me pull a couple of these laws for you.
No Cat shall work more than 20 minutes without a Grooming Break.
No Grooming can be done properly in under 30 minutes.
And of course…
Laps shall be provided, preferably those of slightly overweight women, upon demand.
Perhaps the most telling bit of documentation scotch taped to the refrigerator:
All grievances between Cats and Humans will be settled by the Cat winding in and out of the Human’s ankles whilst the Human stands at the top of a flight of stairs.
I'm not sure this Cat Labor Union really have their members’ best interests at heart.
After all, Liza Bean almost always has a grudge of some sort, and it’s gonna be hard for me to open a can of cat food from a heap at the bottom of the stairs.