Dating Dad, Brian Gallagher shares how helping with homework has taught him the value of a Momish's relationship with his kids.
School Work...
I was never a huge fan of homework in school or in college. I always found it to be tedious and mind numbing. It distracted me from soccer, bike riding, TV watching and girl chasing so I generally avoided it. But, as a single dad, I can no longer avoid it.
Single parenting not only makes you the child care provider, house keeper, chef, laundry chief and taxi driver but it also makes you the at-home educator. Dating dads find themselves thrust back into school while having their own educations tested by teachers who criticize their best efforts at parent/teacher conferences regarding the constant C+ grades on homework. This is just another straw on the camel's broken back. It is a stressor that when two parents share in it there is a safety net of "well, we are both wrong, but we are wrong together" followed by a kiss and a giggle. When dating dad does it solo, it is "sorry I failed you kid, I thought I was smart enough to help you." Ugh.
The dog piling of successes and failures that we have with kids are the score card that we live with daily. As a momish you'll need to help the dating dad assess the score by being a friend to his kids and not a judgemental momish to them. Keep an open dialog with the kids and ask them how they think dad is doing. Make sure that Dating Dad makes a statement to his kids, especially if they are older, to the effect of "What ever you say to her is between the two of you. The only time she will ever share any conversations you have is if you are in danger or headed down the wrong path." I've had girlfriends give me important insight, but never details that betray the kid/momish trust, on how my kids look at the job I am doing as a dad and as a at-home educator. I often ask my sons "how am I doing? Other than never buying junk food or soda, do you still think I'm an OK dad?" (By the way...I am the best dad EVAH!)
As for school work around my house, I am not much help when they take physics and math classes that I didn't take even in college. Three cheers for my Radio/Television degree!