I hear people say I do not like how my relationship is going, this was not how it started so what has gone wrong?
Sometimes just when you think the foundation is right and the process is wrong, it could possibly be the other way round.
It is not wrong to feel a twist in the journey of a relationship. I once had a relationship in which I did not know the major reasons why I wanted to be in the relationship, but guess I was just naive, guess because of how much I thought I understood love and not wanting to feel lonely I dived into one.
If I was asked the questions I will be asking you now,I guess it would have been a lot easier for me.
Why are you going into a relationship? What do you hope to achieve from it?, Do you see your partner as one who will help you achieve that future you picture?
All these questions are the basics for the foundation of a relationship.
Just like the mansion you hope to see standing someday, before you start building, there are major questions you will ask just to ensure the house does not collapse the next year.
Same thing happens in a relationship. When I got in, I just wanted to avoid being lonely, I just enjoyed the feel of having to be in a relationship. But just like you, the journey started dangling, dangling, it was shaky, like a flight going through a major turbulence, quarrels, argument, happiness reduced, I did not know what was wrong but all I could just think of was God, let this cup pass over me.
I did not know what to do then, so I tried applying just one technique and that was inviting the big "C"
It is absolutely normal for the turbulence to come, especially when the beginning was not defined, but as a pilot you should be able to control the turbulence, these turbulence occurs because over time your priority became clearer to you and you started noticing the wrongs in your relationships, automatically when your partner tells you let us go out, you start saying why are
we always going out, can't we just stay indoors? It is normal.
This is not so terrible because it is normal that as we grow, we get clearer understanding of what we want.
How then can this be handled?
Just like me, you need to invite Big "C" "COMMUNICATION"
Rather than keep complaining about how things have changed, start communicating.
Now you have your priorities clear, sit with your partner and discuss.
If you do not communicate you and your partner might just be living separate lives and believing you are both doing your best to make things work, but then you have not done anything at all.
And to those who are yet to get into one, you are still opportuned to lay your foundation right, set your priorities and discuss it with the friend who wants to graduate to the next level, gone are the days of being like me.
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