How do you handle a 41 year old never married, no children who lives at home with his parents, comes from a childhood of abuse, judges, diagnoses, and blames you for everything in the relationship you have within him?
When you develop a relationship with someone is it that you have a friendship where mutual understanding and conscious behavior is the purpose? When we fall in love we get a glimpse of a moment of something we share in unison with the other, this usually takes us back to when connection is simple and communication was in sync. As we learn about the other. The place where compassionate listening seems to escape and we now become the thinker in the relationship that seems to have elements that were not there before.
These traits are the unsettled mind of me and the place I have in the world. This world although big can be small from those places. We start to elect a thought pattern of why things happen to us and why we will always need the same patterns filled with drama or peace to feel somewhat normal. Remember we get this understanding of where we came from as a means of survival. How we become critical because of how our father has treated us and how we translate this inside the mind that can’t see the cycle he was introduced into, the same happens from what you experience from your mother. Even if they weren’t the cause of these things, we seek them for answers.
What if those answers don’t mirror what you feel? Then when you communicate with another who comes from this environment, you experience what thought pattern they are inside. This from a feeling as a lack of understanding, no one lived in that way, and no one is going to view things quite the same way. It doesn’t change that you are love and can give love.
In fact what becomes your struggle is how do you experience things that you haven’t had within your existence? This becomes how what you are as a being, experiencing abuse, judgement, etc. You lack how to translate the love from within you because of the very little glimpse you have experienced of knowing how to give this to yourself and others you feel this way towards. There is something you can do. Stop speaking so much and start listening. Stop stating the obvious which is I was abused as a child, the choice to heal is yours not theirs, If you seek love find love is more than willing to give you an open door to salvation and peace, more importantly a deep love that you have always known was real.
As the one in pain you owe to yourself to truly see from the eyes of a child to go back to what was lost. This is within all of us. Not because we seek rebirth, but without this knowing rebirth, it is not possible to begin with. The newness of making the right decisions and the right to find new ways to communicate and become love has and is yours as a choice. No longer seek yourself in the wrong the world has given you, seek yourself in the right the universe is inside you! This is where it can be healed and the choice becomes clear if the love you are in and want isn’t calling to this inside you. Are you sure it is love?
Love deeply my friends, it is a choice!