I am looking forward to my 70th birthday. I am confused though. How do I count? The day after my 70th I will technically be on the first day of 71st right? When a child is born he spends his first day on earth His first year when he moves from 0-1? So I am looking forward to completing the last day of my 70th year should be my consideration right?
Am I frightened by the approaching date? Am I looking forward to it in these days of COVID 19? When being old has become a cause for concern for government and relatives? Before the pandemic became a scourge on our thoughts and plans, we looked forward to joining the senior citizens club. You looked at your gray hair and reviewed your journey. Your sense of gratitude notches every day you open your eyes to gross matter and you thank the Father Almighty for the opportunity to close circles now as you prepare for your journey into the next experience. All the pains of your youth, middle-age scramble are now viewed in the beauty of the sunlit sunset of memories.
No need to sigh in regrets but to quietly thank the All-Father for the guidance, help and support that you have received. Yes, it is a review. A name comes across your mind and you either grin, frown or chuckle. What happens if it is a frown? You check and open the pages, not in pain, but in silent understanding as you try to understand those misshapen steps you had taken and attempt to forgive yourself. Were you hurt or felt used? Did you listen to the inner promptings you received and how you had allowed societal considerations to silence the thoughts?
When you see your grandchildren strut and moan about being fashionable, you smile as you remember your grandma’s concern when you wore what was a mini to say hello and she was worried you might catch cold. Fashion, you learned gradually was a circle, it repeats itself. You remember that you had been more concerned about the beauty of the soul than your boyfriend’s concern about the figure eight he raved about. Your confusion at his inability to understand the sounds at dawn and why he preferred that awful music to your recitation of the lyrics of Millicent Small..’ my boy lollipop’ didn’t like lollipops except to call you one and he didn’t understand why you objected to such a nickname. he was not Sir Galahad.
MEMORIES, AND DAYS… Your first love. When you could hardly breathe, your first tragedy as you walked into the hostel and your skin crawled and you knew your dad needed you. The urgent travel to the village to find he was ill. The mad lonely drive from the village to Ile Ife, to the hospital, his admission and as you sat quietly beside his sleeping form, you received the pictures again that he would be leaving soon. That knowledge that you could never explain, which you learned later was intuition. Your inability to explain to his wives or even to him. You returned to the village, he discussed his plans with you. You were to apply for your’ ‘A’ levels so you could make plans to go to medical school. You wanted to be a surgeon.
As you made plans to return to school he called you back and noted you were becoming a young woman, so he gave you more money than he had ever given. He gave you a long look and asked you to write to him the minute you got back to school. You were his confidant but you felt bad that you did not confide your fears
That was a goodbye from gross matter, for your next meeting was years after he had departed and he wanted to let you know he was fine and you went over to visit him.
Now you look in the mirror and wonder if you will be permitted to depart peacefully Covid19 or not. You have no intention of being a victim of Covid19 no matter the concern of the government and loved ones. Like grandma, you had asked that you be permitted to depart peacefully. Preferably like grandma during sleep.
As you prepare to conclude 70 years, you ask yourself, how many more and thank you ALL FATHER for every second.