Hold the Concern Please

I keep hearing people suggest that it’s their moral obligation to tell fat people that we need to lose weight, exercise more, or that if someone sees a fat child they need to say something to the caregiver. I’ve been part of any number of conversations where people who had no business or permission to talk to me about my weight or health (and let’s remember they are two separate things) did so.

First of all, we know that you can’t tell anything from someone’s body size other than what size their body is, and what prejudices you hold about that body.  Even if these people’s assumptions about fat people were true, the behavior would still not be justified.

I often respond by saying, with finality,”I’m not taking unsolicited opinions about my health, thank you.”   What I think in my head is more along the lines of No. No no no no no no no.  No. First of all, how much of an idiot do you have to be to talk to me as if I’ve never heard that I should lose weight.  Do you think I’ve never seen a TV commercial? Listened to the radio?  Looked the hell around?  Do you think I live under a very large rock?  By my count I get about 386,170 messages a year that my body is wrong.  I’ve been fat for at least 27 of my 36 years so that’s 10,426,590 times that I’ve been told that my body is wrong. If I was going to buy into that bullshit I would have done it already.  So how about you trust me when I tell you that the 10,426,591st first time is NOT the charm.

I think that when someone feels this strong of a need to “save a fatty”, it’s often really much more about their own ego than the person they are supposedly so concerned about.  Like an ambitious relief pitcher, they want to get credit for the save.  I call this “Pulling a Jillian” as in Jillian Michaels, ego maniac from The Biggest Loser, who can’t stop talking about how she’s saving lives and she’s making people healthy, she’s doing this and she’s doing that blah blah blah. Newsflash Jillian, if you really cared about people we would be hearing a whole lot less about you.

I am a grown ass woman making choices.  That is my right. Just like other people get to make choices for themselves.  You can decide that your path to health is a raw foods diet, vegan, vegetarian, liquid diet, whatever.  I don’t get to decide how you live, it’s not my business.  I get to make choices for my body and you have no right to question those choices. (And if you’re even thinking about making a “but my tax dollars pay for fatties” argument, head over here.)

The bottom line here is very simple:  This is not a tree and I am not a kitten so you can put your ladder away. Thank you.

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