Sitting around a dinner table with friends of friends I feel completely at ease but going to events alone or even with a friend and I always fall short. Since moving to London this problem has reared its ugly head more and more as I don’t have my usual group of friends around me as my warm snuggly safety blanket. I’m out there alone with no blanket, it has been ripped from my hands and I am cold, very cold.
When I think about going to an event, talk, networking event or anything really I always fell super confident, I happily punch my details in to on online form and receive my email “booked.” As the day approaches I always have a mini freak out but some how I always force myself to go.
I don’t understand why this happens because being shy is not really me, I’ll quite happily put on stupid’s voices and do terrible dancing in front of my friends but when it comes to new people or friends I haven’t known very long I’m like a deer in head lights.
I think maybe some of this stems from the fact I sometimes feel intimidated or like what I have to say doesn’t really matter, also from the fact that I’m not really a fan of people who act fake, I just can’t deal with it *cringe*. I end up feeling like I’m being a massive fake, if I nod along to their stories, when all I really what to do is call them out… but I’m far from a horrible person and wouldn’t do that to anyone.
Back to the events, I end up plucking up the courage and turning up but the instant I get there I revert back to my shy state and even if I do talk to some one I usually end up feeling as if I’m a little on the sidelines.
As you may know I went to Blogcademy and for some reason there I felt completely comfy and was happy to talk and even came away with some lovely friends who I have met up with since. I think maybe because the event was longer and everyone was there for a similar purpose I was much more at ease and happy to open up.
I‘ve heard all the tips on how to over come the shy; fake it to make it, learn to love yourself, stay in an uncomfortable situation, accept rejection, breath though it (seriously!?! Am I giving birth?), calm your nerves with a drink… basically everything. None of this work for me, I either can’t do them or they just make it worse.
Now don’t get me wrong I love people, I want to make new friends or even acquaintances but that’s not exactly what this is about, I just don’t want to be shy!
I really what to know if any one else has this problem, I want to be that social butterfly and I know how to do it I just cant seem to push through my selective shyness and come away from events feeling like I’ve made an impression or at least told some one my name.
Let me know your experiences (good or bad) at networking or events?