Hen ‘dos’ … and Hen ‘don’ts’

Now that I am an old hen, I feel well placed to dis­pense some hen ‘dos’ and hen ‘don’ts’ to any­one who is look­ing to organ­ise a hen party.  So, cluck, cluck, here goes …

Do …

1. Con­sider adopt­ing a ‘pick ‘n mix’ approach to your hen party which takes into account the dif­fer­ent ages and inter­ests of your ‘hens’.  If appro­pri­ate, struc­ture the cel­e­bra­tions so that your guests can choose to join in those parts that they would most enjoy.  My hen party com­prised: after­noon tea; a visit to the cin­ema; cock­tails; a meal and a spon­ta­neous trip to a local bar for a bit of danc­ing.   Whilst a hard­core of hens stayed for the dura­tion, the major­ity just came along for part of the cel­e­bra­tions and, judg­ing from all the enthu­si­as­tic text mes­sages I’ve received, that arrange­ment seemed to work well for everyone.
2. Find a way of cel­e­brat­ing with any friends you invited but who weren’t able to join you for the main hen party.   A cou­ple of my friends, who couldn’t make it last week­end, are com­ing over to my flat next week and I plan to bake a big batch of scones and serve after­noon tea wear­ing my Betty Draper out­fit so that they can enjoy a mini-hen party experience.
3. Use your hen party as an oppor­tu­nity to try out some beauty treat­ments and prod­ucts that you are plan­ning to use for your wed­ding day.   A cou­ple of days before my hen party, I had a facial to check it wouldn’t bring me out in spots (it didn’t) and tested the dura­bil­ity of the MAC lip­stick I will be wear­ing on The Big Day.
4. Double-check the con­tact details of all your hens before you hand the list over to your Matron of Hon­our or Chief Brides­maid.  I didn’t.  As a con­se­quence two of my hens almost missed out receiv­ing their invi­ta­tions altogether.
5. Ask one hen, in advance of the party, to take care of any cards, presents, memen­tos that you are likely to col­lect dur­ing the celebrations.

Don’t …

1. Feel con­strained by the stereo­typ­i­cal hen night.  You don’t have to wear L plates and fluffy bunny ears if that’s not your bag.  The hen party police aren’t going to book you! Think about what makes you tick and cre­ate a hen party that is as unique, quirky and indi­vid­ual as you are.  Maybe you’re the crafty type and would like a pot­tery paint­ing after­noon, or per­haps you’d enjoy a ses­sion with a color and style ana­lyst.  The world is your oys­ter!  And if you can’t find any­one offer­ing quite what you are look­ing for, don’t be afraid to con­tact rel­e­vant sup­pli­ers to ask whether they would be able to pro­vide a tailor-made pack­age.   Most peo­ple, par­tic­u­larly small-scale sup­pli­ers, are very flex­i­ble and are only too happy to oblige.
2. Be afraid to dress up.  Your hen party is the one occa­sion you can over-dress with­out embar­rass­ment! I wore a 1950s style Karen Millen dress and exag­ger­ated the Mad­Men look by buy­ing a won­der­ful big pet­ti­coat from www.swingtimecollection.co.uk.   I felt just like Betty Draper and loved every minute of it!
3. Make your cel­e­bra­tions pro­hib­i­tively expen­sive, thereby effec­tively exclud­ing some of your hens. In par­tic­u­lar, unless you know that all your guests can afford it with­out being finan­cially over-stretched, don’t enforce a dress code that will pres­surise every­one into buy­ing an expen­sive new out­fit.   Most hens will already be fret­ting about what to wear on The Big Day so don’t force them on yet another retail mission.
4. Notwith­stand­ing the above, don’t auto­mat­i­cally reject an idea just because you think it will cost too much.   Work on facts, not assump­tions.  Part of my hen cel­e­bra­tions were spent at The Elec­tric Cin­ema in Birm­ing­ham where we watched a pri­vate screen­ing of one of my favorite films.  When I first dis­cov­ered that The Elec­tric offered pri­vate screen­ings I almost dis­missed it as a poten­tial hen party venue on the grounds that it was bound to be far too expen­sive.  But the cost, per head, was actu­ally remark­ably rea­son­able.  So the morale of that lit­tle story is that you’ve noth­ing to loose by ask­ing — and lots to gain!
5. Get so caught up in prepar­ing for the Big Day that you for­get to get excited about the hen party.   Devote some time to choos­ing your own out­fit and acces­sories and enjoy the hen party as an event in its own right rather than just a pre­am­ble to the wed­ding.  Like me, you’ll be glad you did!