Although jealousy is considered a destructive emotion, especially in a romantic relationship, it is better to interpret it as a signal indicating that you actually care about keeping someone in your life. It is the way you address this feeling that determines whether it is a bad or good one.
And let's be honest - even with skyrocketing self-esteem, it's still possible to feel jealous every now and then. However, it is critical to understand that how you go about it directly impacts your relationship. In the worst-case scenario, you may begin attacking your partner with wild guesses and false accusations, which is not the best way to address the issue.
In this article, we'll share healthy ways to overcome jealousy in a relationship. Aside from reflecting on its origins and voicing your concerns, they include cultivating practicing mindfulness and gratitude, and obviously - confronting your feelings and communicating them to your partner.
Communicate Your Feelings
Communicating your feelings is vital to deal with jealousy in a relationship, and it gets even more important when dealing with jealousy. You need to have a clear understanding of what exactly you are feeling to prevent it from destroying what you have with your partner. If you keep your feelings bottled up, they will only grow bigger and eventually blow up. Acting like everything is ok won't make things any better.
In order to communicate your feelings to your partner, you need to find the right time and place for the conversation. Make sure you are both calm and you know what you want to say before you start talking. Also, make sure you listen to your partner's point of view.
Start by talking about your experience. Let your partner know what you were thinking and feeling when you felt jealous. Describe your feelings in detail but without being judgmental.It is best to go into detail about your feelings without making any accusations or negative judgments about your partner or yourself. Just because they made you jealous doesn't mean that they want to run off with someone else or you're not enough for them. Are you jealous because you've seen your partner browsing the internet to see the best japanese sex dolls? Try to take a step back, talk to them, and who knows, maybe you can incorporate new elements into your sex life to make it more exicing for both of you!
Confront Your Jealousy
If you don't confront your feelings, they will surely pile up, poisoning you from the inside, which will eventually poison your relationships with other people. Confronting your feelings will make them understandable, clear and as such - less scary.
The most common reasons for jealousy are insecurity, seeming inadequacy compared to other people, and toxic, disturbed self-image. It might turn out that you need to work on some more serious issues with a therapist, but it's all worth the effort, not only because of your romantic life. However, you still need to start by self-reflection and sitting with your emotions on your own.
● Ask yourself why you feel this way. Do you think that your partner is better than you in some ways and deserves someone else? Or maybe it's the third person who seems superior? Remember that your insecurities are not facts but rather beliefs based on past experiences. Try to get to the bottom of these.
● Understand that jealousy is an indicator that something is wrong. Sometimes it might be your partner's behavior, but in most cases, it will be related to boredom, low self-esteem, or a routine that caught up with your relationship. Address those issues rather than an imaginary flirtation you've seen between your partner and their colleague.
● See if you can find something to be grateful for in your relationship. Find reasons why you shouldn't feel jealous of your partner and why you should feel lucky to have them in your life. Try to gain some perspective and ask yourself if you really have something to be jealous of.
Practice Mindfulness and Gratitude
Mindfulness is a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique for improving psychological health.
By practicing mindfulness, you can start to understand the roots of your jealousy. Acknowledge the feelings and thoughts, but don't dwell on them. Then, try shifting your attention to other things that are going well in your life. This will help you avoid slipping into the negative thought pattern of "what if?"
Then, it's time for a gratitude practice. It refers to a feeling (in response to a favor, gift, etc.) of appreciation or thankfulness. Notice what's going right in your life. It could be small things - the warm sun on your face, a gentle breeze, the feel of your soft sheets, or a good friend. It could also be something bigger - like a job promotion, the birth of your child, or a wonderful vacation.
In addition to feeling happier, practicing mindfulness and gratitude will keep you more grounded and realistic. No matter how much you love your partner, you can't expect them to be perfect. Nor do you have any control over them. Instead of wasting your energy on unrealistic expectations and fears, focus on creating a happy life for yourself.
Final Note
Although jealousy is a natural emotion, it doesn't necessarily mean that you should let it take control of your life. It is essential to understand that it can be addressed, and you don't have to do everything by yourself. If you are feeling jealous, make sure to communicate your feelings to your partner. Moreover, if you feel like you can't cope on your own, don't be afraid to look for a professional therapist to help you. Maybe you need to work on previous traumas to improve your confidence and self-esteem.
Remember that jealousy may be a symptom of something that needs to be fixed in your relationship. Therefore, do your best to find out what it is in order to make you feel more secure. You deserve the best in life, so make sure you have it!