Around this time of year (Christmas), everyone is either a) spending every dime they can on items they’ll soon forget about or b) looking at the money that’s sitting in their bank account wishing it would grow.
It’s very rare that people are somewhere in the middle.
Seeing as how money is one of the top 2 reasons people divorce (sex being the other), it’s imperative that you begin healing your money demons now. Trust me, even if you only end up living with your guy, this “money thing” is a HUGE element in a relationship. Unless, of course, you get it handled now.
There are two basic money personalities that women posses: the whore and the nun. Let’s take a look at them closely and see how we can get both of them under semi-control.
The Money Whore Personality
The Money Whore personality likes to spend. She thinks savings, investments, and a “rainy day” fund is only for boring people. The Money Whore loves to have fun. She lives for it.
She’s ok with spending $1,000 on a new dress because it makes her feel sexy and she’s totally ok with buying everyone drinks at the bar when she goes out. She’s ok with loaning money to people who need it, but she doesn’t do it too often because by the time people ask her, she has none to give.
She’s frequently late with paying her bills and is ok with maxing out her credit cards. Remember, she just wants to have fun. She believes everyone should live a little.
The Money Nun Personality
The Nun Personality likes to save. She frets if her bank account goes below a certain number. She’d rather raid the sales rack or Goodwill than buy anything new or at full price. She believes that once she is over the age of 59 ½ she can enjoy her money the way it was intended.
She’s ok with donating money, however it’s usually so small and so infrequent that she may as well not bother. She doesn’t go out, doesn’t travel, and thinks anything above $50 is too expensive.
She’s always on time with her bills, in fact, she usually pays them early. She has no credit cards. She also rarely has fun. She believes everyone should save for the future.
Why They Fight
The Money Whore and Money Nun (from now on abbreviated as MW and MN) fight because they have opposing goals. The MW wants to enjoy her life to the fullest. Her motto is you only live once. The MN wants to save as much as possible. Her motto is prepare for the future.
When the MW gets her way, the fun that you feel during her spending spree is HIGH. But when it’s all over and your bank account balance says $0.65 and pay day is 2 weeks away, you feel like crap.
When the MN gets her way, you feel responsible and like you’re “on top of things”. But when you see yourself wearing the same clothes year after year or never being able to “afford” a decent vacation, you begin to feel like crap.
How to Whip Them Both Into Shape
Let’s be real, you gotta have savings. It may not be the Suze Orman recommended 6-8 month stash, but you gotta have something. It keeps you from freaking out when your car breaks down or when you receive an unexpected bill.
I suggest:
- Find a way to save at least 10% of your monthly gross income. If you can’t do 10%, do 5%. Do what you can to contribute to your own personal savings
- Have it automatically deducted from your account every month. Most financial institutions have a way for you to schedule transfers. Schedule yours and be done with it.
And ta-daaaa. You’ve just successfully told your MN to shut her pie hole. She can’t call you irresponsible because, well, you’re being VERY responsible by saving a portion of your salary every month.
You need to have fun every month, too. Every day preferably. Having fun doesn’t have to cost money, though frequently, it does. You have to allow yourself some “fun money” so that you won’t hate yourself or teach a man that he can get away with not buying your gifts or taking you out on the town.
I suggest:
- Have a specific card you use for fun every month. It could be a separate checking account or it could be a credit card with a very low credit limit.
- Set a designated amount per month that you would like to spend. If you want, you can set it to be the same amount as your savings.
- Make a vow to spend all of that money every month. Do things that make you happy!
- If you’re using a credit card, set up automatic payments so that every month the balance is being paid in full.
And ta-daaaaa. You’ve just successfully told your MW to shut her pie hole. She can’t belittle you and say “you’re no fun!” She won’t feel deprived because she still gets to spend her money any way she wants.
Win-Win.
What do you think? Share in the comments below.