Just that one song on Pandora sent me into a spiral of memories, a muscle memory of anger. Not this deep , intense anger , but this feeling of wanting my life to be different from where it was in that moment.
Those times in High school where the boy I had a crush on didn’t like me back, or those times that I left work after an 11 hour day with only $22 in tips from waitressing. With one thirty minute break, which was spent in the large freezer eating pickles. To each his own.
One song took me back to this feeling of wanting justice for things gone wrong in my life.
Music has a way of allowing your soul to express the words that you desperately need to voice. This week, I did just that. I put on my old screamo music , and I was angry. I was honest with myself. I didn’t hide my anger, righteous or not. Oh and it was righteous.
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Your emotions are valid. It’s all in how you handle them, and how you steer your words during times when you are angry.
I love that Jesus has a story for every emotion I feel in every season.
Yes he is kind. Yes he is compassionate, and ever loving.
But the Jesus I related to this week was the one where he turned over the tables in the Temple.
“Jesus entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves.”
Matthew 21:12
He said:
” My temple will be called a place of prayer, but you have turned it into a den of thieves!”
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This week several things in our lives happened that made my anger flare up. Not this hatred or even loathing of others, but this strong thirst for righteousness. I cannot stand for my children to be mistreated, or to see others hurting. Often we try our best to love people, and do not receive the same treatment in return.
Perhaps that is how Jesus felt that day.
Betrayed. Hurt. Hungry for what is right.
On weeks like these I remember that Jesus walked this earth just like you and I. He had family that hurt him. He had people accuse him of wrong doings. He was misread and not understood. He was ultimately , brutally murdered for standing for what was right. He was right, he was always right.
Which I know gave him the go ahead that day in the temple to overturn the tables. I’m sure he wasn’t quiet , no one can get any job done like that with just a whisper.No, he was loud. He was heard. He was angry.
He was without sin, and I am not.
He didn’t make one move without listening to Holy Spirit first. I am not perfect at that, no one is . That’s where HIS grace comes in.
But I think, in moments where your anger is pure, purely righteous, it’s ok to allow yourself to feel that way. Often anger can move you into making choices, and fixing situations that you wouldn’t have journeyed into otherwise.
When we are filled with His Holy Spirit, we hunger and thirst for righteousness. It’s in our hearts desire to see His will throughout our lives. He’s a good and happy Father that has good plans for us.
When we see our children hurting from a wrong doing, it’s ok to be angry about this.
I feel like there is this preconceived notion that if you are a believer, you are never to be angry.
I believe everything the bible says, but you have to look at each verse in it’s context.
Psalms 7:11 (KJV) God judgeth the righteous, and God is angry with the wicked every day.
1 Kings 11:9,10 And the LORD was angry with Solomon, because his heart had turned away from the LORD, the God of Israel, who had appeared to him twice and had commanded him concerning this thing, that he should not go after other gods. But he did not keep what the LORD commanded.
Proverbs 15:18 A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.
Proverbs 29:22 A man of wrath stirs up strife, and one given to anger causes much transgression.
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I am not saying that I give you permission to be a hot head. To lose your temper, and be unkind to your neighbor. What I am telling you that it is possible to be angry ( righteously ) and not act on it. To give it to God. Some anger is the Holy Spirit stirring INSIDE you to notice things, to act on things. To ask God to help. To fix. To love. To change.
Anger can be a gateway for change and growth if it’s carried in the right way.
Anger for me this week was changing a situation at my daughters school with love. I wasn’t hateful or spiteful. I wasn’t a name caller, or a petty woman. I was calm , though I was angry. It changed things.
In whatever emotion or feeling that we have, we have to check it with Jesus.
” Hey Lord, I feel angry. What do I need to do with this?”
He will always direct you to the path you should take with your anger.