I have been thinking lately about what constitutes the label 'grown-up'. When do we make that transition from bumbling young person to fully-fledged adult.
When I was younger, the cut-off appeared to be drinking red wine, far too much coffee and complaining about bills.
Well I do all of those things now, but I still don't feel like a grown-up.
I own a car, I have a savings account (be it pitiful). I bought Egyptian cotton sheets and have framed pictures on the wall. I've had my heart broken and I have broken a heart. I've forged friendships for life, and others that pass like a season. I've hidden at the back of the room during the bride's bouquet toss. I've held a hand and said 'it's all going to be alright' when I didn't know if this was the truth. I financed a good mattress, need glasses for driving and love a good throw cushion. But no dice.
I guess I figured there would be a celebration of sorts. Everyone would eat cake and drink something mature like port and toast a sayonara to my 'younger years'. And from that point on I would be whole - fully grown. I would never make mistakes, or quick judgements. I would be all wise and knowing.
But I am starting to think the idea of a 'grown-up' comes down to perception and projection. When we are younger everyone older seems so damn old. When I was 15, 28 was practically dead and buried. Maybe we never really grow up, we just grow.
Or maybe there is a pivotal moment and we all reach it at different times.
Maybe it isn't when we drink red wine or complain about bills at all.
Maybe it's when we clean up the spill straight away instead of letting it dry into the carpet fibers. Maybe it's when we pay our phone bill on time instead of waiting until our service is restricted. Maybe it is when we choose to buy nutritious groceries instead of leather sandals and a weeks worth of rice noodles. Maybe it's when the 3am McDonald's happy meal stops making us so damn happy.
If that is the case. I better shelve that bottle of port. As my grown-up celebration is still a long way off.
Much love XXX