When I try to list the things she taught me, I find myself not thinking of domestic tasks, but about afternoons wandering her garden in Ivanhoe, squishing overripe Napoleon Cherries under my feet. She told us we couldn't eat them, but now I know they are quite edible, but you need to cook them. Carla, her Italian neighbor would lean over the fence at some point, I would climb the step ladder that perennially resided there, she would pinch my cheeks and hand over a plate of tiramisu (which I adored) or a bag of rock-hard almond biscotti (which I didn't). We would go inside, and I would sit with Gran in the sun-room, while we ate Carla's treats and she told me about her latest trip - The silk road, Orient express, a barge down the Nile, meeting the Dalai Lama. Princes and cruise ships in Italy, trains and houseboats in Canada. She nearly died of altitude sickness in Lima, food poisoning in Burma, was hijacked in Israel, pushed out of China for being nosy and nearly blown up in Pakistan. But none of this stopped her. Every year, she would save each penny - living on tinned sardines and condensed tomato soup, so she could afford another lavish trip. The only reason she doesn't travel now is that she cannot get travel insurance. But no, she doesn't cook.
While discussing, I blamed World War II, the lack of male presence and the need for women to take up other forms of work, followed closely by the depression, when food was simply a fuel to fend off starvation. But possibly there's much more to it than that. Scarcity is hardly a rare occurance in India, and other parts of the world famous for the quality of their home cooking. Our values, of money, time and art, have changed. (Check out the Daily Mail's article) And it's not only the war that did it. Fashions have changed faster since the 1920s than they have in history, and it's not just about dresses - it's the way we live, and choose to present ourselves. And cooking has not been the only thing to go. Hands up who knows how to cross-stitch. It is now more important for a woman to be well educated, well travelled, busy, fit, and of course, pretty - that will never change. As for the kitchen, well, there's always restaurants and frozen dinners.
But I won't hold it against her, just like Tom Junod couldn't in this piece for the Esquire blog. Gran has always given me plenty to feast on, and she has good taste. I just can't put her gifts in my belly.
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You can find the three winning recipes on my recipe listings here:
Delhi Breakfast
Paneer Pakeeza Fish Curry
And, in appreciation of my matriarchs, I am adding my own family recipe. Don't laugh - it's adored by me and my kids, even my gourmet husband.
Granny's Tuna Curry --------------------------------------
I also came across this article from Time Online in my searching for reasons why modern women don't cook (didn't find any reasons, just lots of opinions on whether they should or shouldn't, could or couldn't, will or won't) - A modern cook's conflicted relationship with his mother. Worth a read.
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