He then went on to talk about a particular incident where a man was screaming at me at the park. The man was so brave that he bought his son (who looked about 12) with him. Problem was, the guy was yelling at the wrong person, which he would have known if he'd bothered to supervise his younger child whilst they were at the park.
I'll explain.We were at the park (the boys and I). There were 5 other boys there and a toddler who looked no older than 2. 4 of the boys where there with their Mums, one other boy and the toddler appeared to be there alone. I couldn't see the parent of the 2 kids who appeared to be alone and was considering calling the police because we were there for 2 hours with no parent in sight.My boys were playing up one end of the park, the other children were playing at the opposite end. The toddler was annoying the 4 boys who where there with their Mums (the Mums were chatting and too far away to see what was going on with their children). The toddler kept on getting in the way when the 4 boys were on the swing so they deliberately pushed the swing really hard into her head. Luckily the swing hit her on the forehead, if it'd gotten her in the face it would have done a lot of damage. I was walking over to help when I saw her brother smack and yell at her for falling over. As soon as I saw that I went back to watching my boys. The 4 boys who'd hurt her ran over to their parents and they left as soon as they saw the man start screaming at me. A man comes along (with his son) and starts screaming at me that I should take better care of my children so kids don't get hurt. Initially I was polite, I just told him he had the wrong person and pointed at the swiftly departing kids who'd hurt his child. Undeterred, he continued to scream at me. He was over the other side of the park, overweight, with no way to get to me. I had at least 3 safe exits, there were people around and could get myself and the boys to the car without going anywhere near him. Knowing that, I happily screamed at him for about 3 minutes, until he gave up and walked away. I kindly told him that he should get his facts right and that if he'd bothered to supervise his child she wouldn't have been hurt. I also told him he was setting a terrible example for his child by screaming at someone who'd done nothing wrong and that next time he should actually supervise his kids at the park so they don't get seriously injured. Dickhead.Clearly this left an impression on Chai. It was at least 6 years ago. We have not discussed it since it happened (other than the debrief in the car on the way home from the park). I made sure to tell the boys that I only yelled at him because I knew I was safe and that if it hadn't been safe I would have ignored him and we would have left. I really hope that when my boys stand up for themselves they do it in a safe manner.
You know those days when you wonder what you're teaching your children and if you're setting a good example?I had one of those recently.Chai had something happen at school and when he was telling me about it he said, "I did what you do Mum, I didn't back down. I stood my ground even though I was scared and they were yelling at me."Hmmmm. Clearly my behavior has left an impression. I'm not sure if it's good or bad though. We all need to stand our ground, but knowing when to stand your ground and when to walk away is crucial. Hopefully I've taught the boys that too. When I think about it, I've stood my ground more often than I've walked away. I refuse to be bullied or intimidated. Hopefully that's what my boys have learned, not be to bullied or intimidated by idiots who think they're tough.