Little Bites- A shudder title. So, if you want the audio description,you will have to find it on a VOD service, or pray it hits Hulu after its run on AMC Plus with the audio description track. I would recommend, with basically every horror movie ever, to choose audio description if this is the accessibility you need. However, I’m not sure if I would recommend Little Bites. the movie features a woman who at the beginning of the film has a monster of sorts living in a room in her house. She has to go feed him, and he bites her, sucking her blood. there are references and allusions to a past with maybe a drug addiction, and I was thinking that the gimmick in the film was that the monster was this addiction dark passenger. It’s not. it is a real thing, and she’s trying to keep it and herself away from her daughter. Chaz Bono, for some reason, jumped on as a producer and co-star. It has fleeting moments of promise, but when you realize the film is to be taken literally, instead of metaphorically, it just becomes yet another horror film up against every other bloodsucker out there. The acting was fine across the board, but nothing really stands out. It isn’t the flashiest entry, and that’s largely why it is one of Shudder’s lessser known titles from 2024. I don’t remember the audio description, but Shudder doesn’t always have exceptional tracks, they have functional ones that get you through a film.
Barely Fresh: Final Grade: C+, Audio Description: B?
Skincare- Elizabeth Banks also had a horror adjacent title last year, and it is certainly a. Film. Of course it is, but I mean.. it is something. Banks plays the owner of a day spa who has a lot going on in her life. She’s dealing with a new competitor, and also a stalker that sends her menacing messages. On top of that, she has a dick of a “boyfriend” (Nathan Fillion). MJ Rodriguez plays her presumably suffering employee, because Banks is really good at being a bit much, which only amplifies as her characters life battles two different (or maybe the same) reasons for her to have increased paranoia. Like with some films, come for the performance. Elizabeth Banks is good in this, and the film is just twisty and weird enough to likely keep your interest. The Substance it is not, but it probably wanted to be.
Fresh: Final Grade: B-, Audio Description: B+
The Little Rascals- Another 30th Aniversary from 2024. It is important for you to know that 10 year old me, who saw this in theatres, at the time knew these kids were not good actors. Darla is constantly looking off screen for her lines. I’m blind, I can’t see that now, so the film does skew a bit favored as a result, but I still think this doesn’t work. When the director of Wayne’s World decided to direct an update of Our Gang, you would think it was just a labor of love. However, there’s a lack of magic here, like there is with Wayne’s World. It always feels like we’re moving through these predictable sketches, and set ups, all so Alfalfa can fall in love. The He Man Woman Haters Club feels like something we won’t see in our immediate future. The audio description was pretty good, though it could have pulled out the celebrity cameos (even if you will recognize their voices). I didn’t like it as a kid, and I don’t like it as an adult. Not all trips down memory lane result in a dramatic perspective shift. this is just too silly, and the ten year old version of me is reminding me that there are some kids in here that should have been recast.
Rotten: Final Grade: C-, Audio Description: B+