This is the script of this morning's Pause for Thought on the Chris Evans Show on BBC Radio 2 from Chewton Glen. Twelve couples will be driving the twelve classic cars from here to Cliveden after the show ends. The musical guest is Mark King, epic bassist from Level 42.
Well, here we go. The Dirty Dozen are standing by the cars, ready to rev, and burning to … er … burn up the road to Cliveden.
I've got to tell you, though: they don't look very dirty to me. Maybe I am missing something, but they all look clean and fresh – after knocking back the bacon rolls while the show has been going on.
Yet, I guess 'dirty' is what they are doing, even if dirty doesn't describe their demeanour. Because what they are doing is giving huge amounts of money to help children in need – and that is what we call getting down and dirty where it matters.
I would say that, wouldn't I? I'm a Christian and the whole point of Christian living is to do what Jesus did: get stuck in, down to earth, getting hands and feet dirty where it counts. Not sitting somewhere a million miles above the muck and bullets of real life, but opting right into it and paying the price, if necessary.
So, the Dirty Dozen might be enjoying themselves in the classic cars, but this is because a pile of cash is driving out of their wallets and into children who need to know that they matter, that they are loved, that they are worth getting down and dirty for.
It seems to me that there are two types of people: those who use a car to get from A to B, and those for whom the drive is both the A and the B. And, of course, this isn't the exclusive preserve of motoring: as I read in one of my holiday books, “There are just some kind of men who're so busy worrying about the next world they've never learned to live in this one…”.
So, let the Dirty Dozen drive. And let the children thrive. And let me remember that choosing to get our hands dirty in this world might be a big ask, but it is what we are made for. Drive on, you mucky people.
………………………….
And here is the alternative script I didn't do on the show, but managed to smuggle in nearly a dozen Level 42 song titles:
I just got back from a sunny holiday yesterday. Ten days and I managed to read ten books – not one of them about cars. I am sorry.
But, what a sight this morning as the Dirty Dozen get set to hit the road any minute now. I can't see Prince's Little Red Corvette or Bruce Springsteen's Pink Cadillac … or, for that matter, the Clash's Brand New Cadillac. But, in my head I can hear the Beatles imploring us to Drive My Car – and, yes, I do know it is a euphemism.
It seems to me that there are two types of people: those who use a car to get from A to B, and those for whom the drive is both the A and the B. And, of course, this isn't the exclusive preserve of motoring: as I read in one of my holiday books, “There are just some kind of men who're so busy worrying about the next world they've never learned to live in this one…”.
Somehow these have to be held together, don't they? Concern for the destination matters – otherwise we just drive round in circles, going nowhere and literally killing time; but, the journey is as important as the arriving. In other words, the living – and how we live it – can't be cut off from the question of what we are living for.
Standing in the light of this recognition, we can happily drive into the sun. All around there are clouds, yes, but, all I need is to take a look and discover that heaven is in my hands. Not somewhere over there, but here. I don't need to build myself a rocket to get away from here; here is where the true colours are to be found and seen.
Does that sound a bit cryptic? Well, basically, Jesus once said that he was here so that we might live life in all its abundant fullness: not just for self-satisfaction, but so that everyone might thrive – that's why it is in our hands to sacrifice ourselves so that others (especially, perhaps, the children in need) might thrive.
So, let the Dirty Dozen drive!