Geri Bloody Hell ...

It may come as a shock to some, but the Spice Girls were never that good to be honest. Despite the phenomenon they created, their vocals were always pretty lacklustre and, even though we can totally appreciate their era, we couldn't stand them. Now, many a year later, each seems to have had their own career from the back of the group, and Geri, whom has had her share of the fame, has decided to make another comeback with one of the most terrible singles you're ever going to hear.
The start of the video for Half Of Me really shows off what is to come. A mixture of dreadful actors moving their way out of the shot (some of which can't help but look where it is they're having to move to) ... and then there's Geri. She has that 'kooky' grin on, despite not being quite as young as she once was, and starts the song with the line about an apple.
We wouldn't blame you for thinking then, that we're being hypocritical, as one of our favorite songs this year was, indeed, called The Apple ... but this really takes the biscuit in terms of lyricism and we can't help but slate every single second of it.
Geri's vocals are really boring, and actually, we'd love to hear how much of it was actually from her lung-set, and how much was computerised. The video, as we said, is by no means funny, sweet, kooky, or cool, and the fact that she is trying this hard really makes us cringe, quite a bit.
It's as though this sits somewhere between Geri trying to make a satire of herself, and genuinely trying to make a comeback to the limelight, and for that reason, we really can't comprehend it all ... meaning that we're left with a deep feeling that 3 and a half minutes of our lives, which we'll never be able to conjure back, has been stolen by the likes of the red-locked, ex-popstar, wannabe, Geri Halliwell.
Reports have shown, by the way, that since its release, this has not sold more than 400 copies worldwide ... shame.
Paul.