This season has been quite the adventure for cunning Lions, dauntless Wolves, audacious Wildlings and relentless Dragons. Between fighting the undead, winning castles and losing limbs, it’s amazing anyone’s had time to grab a cup of grog. Living in the world of ‘Game of Thrones’ imparts certain risks, but health and happiness haven’t all gone the way of the dragons. Read on to find out the risks you could run and the benefits you may have attained by living like your favorite ‘Game of Thrones’ character. WARNING: Spoiler alert!
Theon Greyjoy
The health risks of living like Theon Greyjoy start with a naughty proclivity toward frequenting ladies of the night. Yes, plenty of male characters in ‘Game of Thrones’ do the same, but Theon’s fondness for under-the-cover romps with unknown women makes him particularly vulnerable to sexually transmitted infections. The World Health Organization reports that even in modern times, nearly 500 million new cases of STIs occur every year. In Theon Greyjoy’s world, where condom use is nil, the rate of infection is no doubt even higher, and Theon really should have been a bit more careful while he still had his manly bits intact – a lifetime of genital ulcers, scrotal swelling and urethral discharge may have compelled Theon to chop off those bits himself.
Then again, Theon Greyjoy’s passion for women comes from his fun-loving passion for life. Before the painful turn of events in Season 3, Theon loved cracking jokes and fooling around with his brothers – and goodness knows the stoic Stark boys rarely joined in with this merriment. Theon’s lighthearted take on life is good for his health – laughing increases metabolism, promotes a healthy heart and improves mental functioning.
If you want to live like Theon, try memorizing a new joke every day. You’ll feel happier, your memory skills will improve, and your emotional health will grow. Just keep in mind – no matter how many members of the opposite sex you manage to impress, always wear protection.
Arya Stark
The main risk of living like Arya Stark is living with a big name and a big mouth. Arya’s last name makes her a wanted traitor and a prized possession, and until she’s back in the hands of family (whomever that may be), her health risks are many: sickness and malnutrition due to traveling with few resources; possibility of scrapes and infection with all that camping in the woods; and risk of physical injury from the sheer amount of times she’s been thrown over someone’s shoulder. Still, it’s Arya’s mouth that often proves the real risk. The youngest Stark girl tells people exactly what she thinks, and although they largely tend to ignore her provocations, Arya has grown used to living dangerously and speaking her mind – and that’s a risk.
On the other hand, Arya might just be the most physically fit woman in ‘Game of Thrones,’ bar Brienne of Tarth of course. Arya loves to run around and play with swords, which keeps her body and mind in good shape. Plenty of modern day sports use swords as well – fencing and Kendo, for example. The British Fencing Association reports that the sport will improve cardiovascular health, tone and condition the arms, and make a participant more coordinated and flexible.
If you want to live like Arya, challenge a gender-normative stereotype and reap the health benefits that follow. If you’re a man, research recipes, cook a meal for friends and enjoy learning more about balanced meals and nutrition. If you’re a woman, sign up for an attack-based workout class, like kickboxing or fencing, and see how it feels to get out aggression while building muscle.
Daenerys Targaryen
Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, the First of Her Name, Queen of Meereen, Queen of the Andals and the Rhoynar and the First Men, Lord of the – well, you get the idea. Daenerys has an exceedingly long list of victories, but her enemies mostly care about just one title: Mother of Dragons. The Khaleesi is content to spend her time around fire-breathing monsters, which puts any normal person at risk of being burnt. Even the snuffling wheeze of an infant dragon could cause first-degree burns that only affect the superficial layer of skin but nonetheless lead to pain and may increase the risk of skin cancer. A third- or fourth-degree burn, the type that Daenerys should have suffered during her night in the pyre, may take months to heal and require amputation.
Saying that, for all the risks Daenerys takes by surrounding herself with dragons, the Khaleesi accrues health benefits through her acts of kindness. Evidence shows that altruism promotes better mental health and lower levels of stress, and may even help us live longer. So, every time the Mother of Dragons makes a slave a free man or woman, she’s improving her own health as well.
If you want to live like Daenerys, you’d do well to avoid fire, because we can’t all have the title of The Unburnt. Focus on being a person for others, and perform kind acts when you can – buy a coffee for the next person in line, stop and ask a tourist if they need directions, and reap the mental benefits that altruism begets.
Jon Snow
After spending his entire life in the North (and then a bit of time in the waaaaay North), it’s no surprise that Jon Snow comes across a bit glum. Northerners see less sunlight, and less sunlight means less serotonin and more melatonin – a hormonal combination that can lead to depression, sleeping disorders, and Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). When afflicted with SAD, a person may feel a sense of hopelessness, or experience unhappiness and irritability – perhaps it’s melatonin, and not a sense of duty, that makes Jon Snow easy to frown.
Still, Jon makes up for his pouty demeanor with physical prowess and agility. His bodily capabilities help him fight a resurrected corpse and free-climb a 700 foot wall, and of course that toned physique has proved quite an asset to Jon’s interest in keeping Ygritte by his side.
If you want to live like Jon, get your emotions under control. To combat SAD, make a point of taking long walks during the winter to maximize sunlight exposure, and don’t sleep more than normal. As for improving strength, the usual course of weight lifting and full-body workouts ought to do the trick. And remember – living like Jon Snow means keeping a healthy body as well as a healthy head of hair, so investigate olive oil conditioning treatments to cap off your post-gym shower.
Tywin Lannister
Tywin Lannister is a control freak who treats his family like pawns on a chessboard; moving them into marriage, royalty and war without a second thought for the wants or needs of his closest kin. Tywin’s unbending, unyielding attitude points to the possibility of narcissistic personality disorder, defined in the DSM-5 as showing “little genuine interest in others” and experiencing “predominance of a need for personal gain.” Sure, such emotions may be normal for a male in Tywin’s position of power, but one can’t help but feel that such a complete lack of empathy for his family cannot be healthy.
Then again, Tywin’s confidence also helps him exert a calm authority, and this personal trait no doubt keeps the man healthy and safe. Tywin Lannister is the only person of whom King Joffrey is afraid, and without Tywin’s supreme attitude of authority, we can only imagine what harms the young king may have already brought upon his grandfather. Plus, confidence and self-worth are good for mental health, in moderation of course.
If you want to live like Tywin, find positive ways to build self esteem. Play a sport you love, set a goal and get fit, or try public speaking to build confidence amongst your peers – anything that helps to improve self-worth without turning you into a dictatorial head of household.
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