Eh?
New Year's Resolutions, we all break them. We make them. Then break them. Right?
Well fuck you mister Clever Pants in your Shitty Ghurka-Inn E1, I will never break this one. It's not mine to break...
2012 will be THE YEAR OF FREE PLANET.
And I don't just mean I'll get the best P.R. agent in the fucking West End to help me spread my own stupidly egotistical personal agenda through the education-clogged minds of the gormless masses both in idiot slave jobs, feckless uni posts and corrupt military intelligence hotseats. I don't mean I'll morning, afternoon and evening saturate the radio networks with my earth-shattering ideas of Freedom, Egalite and Wunderbarness. I don't mean that I'll make another funny as fuck youtube video about "How we're all fucking slaves to the Global Cunt Factory".
I mean THIS YEAR...
...and no later than mid-February, in fact just before St Valentine's Day, the ENTIRE GLOBAL POPULATION OF SEVEN BILLION SOVEREIGN INDIVIDUALS who really run this place, who make it tick, who keep it sane, who allow the fabric of spacetime to function, heal and replenish will start to ask for, née, demand their stolen planet be returned to them; for the sake of every living creature.
In less than SIX WEEKS, the human population of FREE PLANET will (finally) realize that the only way to exist, co-exist, thrive and (personally) prosper, as a global race of Creativity, Passion and Kinship-mongers, is to abandon all desire to LEAD.
Yes, to lead.
Society has taught us all so concertedly that LEADING is such an 'honourable cause' dear Clever Clogses of Corporate Indoctrination and Socialist Yes-man-ism. You've awarded those who 'lead' with your perfectly-ridiculous HONOURS OF HONOURABLENESS. You've murdered, decapitated and hood-winked those of your friend-enemies who've LED too well; who've despoted too comfortably: who've dictated too ambitiously.
Who've led.
LED.
You thought, all this time, that Free Planet was all about living on a planet stripped of MONEY or PROFIT where everything was just as it was before except you didn't have to PAY for food, shelter, water and sewage? Well, you fell for my 'mischievous sleight of hand'. Even if money or tallysticks or gold were all boiled in acid, tomorrow, you'd still (dear Society) have BARTER, you'd still have ASSET of some sort to TRADE with, you'd still have slaves to master in your annoyingly competent fashion and you'd still have THOSE WHO LED their pathetic, needy, followers to achieve more and more and more of that 'thing' that 'commodity' (in their N.A.M.E.) to the detriment of the whole entire living planet. Again, you'd wreck this beautiful, delicate homeworld, this star-orbiting rock with an atmosphere again, in the name of Your Leaders, your elected Yokes of Office.
Leaders are the problem, and the leadership must sink.
There's nothing sinister or oppressive about this, no one will be tortured to death or be tried of war crimes or be exposed in any way, shape or form. It's just a SIMPLE ACT OF LETTING GO. You, the global bullies, will no longer have your minions and your armies and your 'network'. And we all know that when a bully loses his gang, his mafia, his 'family' of crime, he no longer wields the power he once thought he had.
Mankind, as a collective sharing entity, will do this for the maladjusted bully-wully. He'll liberate him from all his intense insanity, his macho stance of audacious greatness, his ambition. Forget the need to fatted your portfolio, or polish your C.V. Forget the eye-popping lure of cash-money, lottery-wealth, and the threat of the revelation of some personal indiscretion. Chill, in the modern parlance. Don't stress. Relax. We are already truly free, us, these souls, these friends and neighbours, these inhabitants of their multifarious Diversities. We have already decided to abandon all kow-towing to 'some supposed intellect of control' some 'inappropriate saviour'. It is done. It is over.
Soon, all such pyramidic temptation of ascent to 'greater things', and be ruled only by Custodianism. We will win. Together. No longer divided. No longer at war. No longer afraid. No longer defeated... protecting our M.O.T.H.E.R. from T.H.E.Y. so that our children's children can be proud of our legacy and tell stories and sing songs of the wonderful moment we achieved in human history. The pivot point has been affixed into the mantle of the earth ... leverage will be applied like never before. Free Planet means 'free from conquest' and 'free from enslavement' and 'free from you'.
Scared yet?