If there's one thing I wish my parents had taught me about relationships, it's the importance of financial compatibility.
Instead, the one lesson they imparted was the importance of genetic testing early on - you know, to ensure we didn't have any horrible nasties lurking in our cells that might pass on to our kids, when combined with the other person's DNA.
(I didn't really take that one on board - not when I was 16, and not when I was older, either.)
High up among the criteria for a suitable prospective partner, according to How To Be An Adult In Relationships author David Richo, is this:
Has no disability with respect to money (e.g., cannot earn, spend, share, save, lend, contribute, receive)Isn't this just the most perfect phrase? I've never seen it articulated quite so well.
I still think there's value in different styles. Here's a really nice way to look at it.
When you think about it, a spender in a relationship is really working on improving your quality of life right now. Savers, on the other hand, are improving your quality of life in the future.
I've got a lot of priceless memories; fun experiences I would have missed out on otherwise for sure.
Savers can complement spenders, but it's certainly not always easy.
I honestly believe we would have well and truly found our groove a long time ago, had multiple bouts of unemployment not derailed things so badly.
Lately we've been finding our way again, working toward a workable financial equilibrium.
As it stands now, what I see happening is a rebuilding of trust. Proving that we are both pulling our weight, adequately protecting our income through insurance, so we can work together towards a shared future.
I wish it were the kind of thing that could be done with the flick of a switch, in the blink of an eye, but it's a process.