I live in San Jose, about an hour's drive south of San Francisco, and was full of nervous energy as I drove north on the 101 freeway. I psyched myself up on the drive, talking to myself out loud. I practiced my piece, especially the last line. I didn't want to get choked up on stage. I looked for messages of inspiration in the billboards. One was for an upcoming movie and stated "It's going to be epic." "It is!" I said aloud. Another, for a local hospital, pictured an enormous baby fist. I threw my fist in the air and gave that baby a fist bump as I drove by. "Bam!" I said. "Let's rock this thing."
The last time I was similarly inspired on the freeway was in the mid 1990's. I was a couple years out of college, driving from Berkeley to Palo Alto for a job interview. I drove, south this time, through the tech corridor. It was an exciting time in Silicon Valley, and I felt that entrepreneurial spirit building within me as I passed billboard after billboard for tech companies quite literally creating the future. I got the job that day, doing tech support for a startup called WebTV, despite my complete lack of technology experience. It was a defining time in my life.
Sometimes that drive down 101 seems a lifetime ago. I've been a stay at home parent for six years. We are coming up on the four year anniversary of my son's autism diagnosis. I recently had a round number birthday. It is easy to get bogged down in this life of special needs parenting, to focus on getting through the day and forget to be inspired. To feel like the best is behind us.
Listen to this mother when I tell you it is not. There is something about standing on a stage in front of 300 people and baring your soul. I owe so much to the producers of the San Francisco show, who put their faith in me. They allowed me the opportunity to not just share my story, but also to prove to myself that I have so much more to do. And to the other women in the cast, who shared so much of themselves and reminded me that we can learn from and support each other, no matter how diverse our experiences.
And most importantly, that a good cry, followed by a really great laugh, can get you through just about anything.
Photos courtesy of ZemyaPhotography. Video from Listen To Your Mother will be available this summer. I will post my piece here in the near future.