Here is my lesson from Proverbs: He that diligently seeketh good procureth favour: but he that seeketh mischief, it shall come unto him. Proverbs 11:27The point, I think, is that anyone can find the dirt on someone but we should be the one who finds the gold in them.There has yet again been much hurt derived from conference. And I cannot down play that or cover it up. At the same time there was much Christ centric focus by some General Authorities.If we focus on Christ He can heal our hurting hearts. He can inspire forgiveness of sins, carry our weary troubled selves when we couldn't make it on our own.We forgive our debtors as we want forgiveness for our debts. And forgiveness means most when it is hard not simply when it's easy and might not mean much.We have no control over those who hurt us. We can only control ourselves and how we respond to hurt, negativity and being degraded in a toxic fashion. Especially when it happens again and again.But for as flawed as we all are, God sees the good in us and the potential that we have to live up to who we were created to be.And even when we are in the right, even when we are light years better than those who sin against us, compared to Christ we are not so different. Christ said "Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured." Matthew 7:1-3So in our justifiable pain if we judge in return we will be judged as harshly as we have judged one another.Anyone can find the dirt on others but we ought to be interested in finding the gold in others rather than the dirt. Because finding the gold is why each of us keep getting chance after chance from The Lord.We can't change others, we can inspire change but we can only change ourselves. If we try to control others our effort will be in vain. We do better leading by example. Rather than praying for miracles to change others be the miracle you want to see in this world. And perhaps we can inspire others to change.But my take away from hurtful people is that we shouldn't stay where we are tolerated or unwanted, we should go where we are celebrated.God celebrates when anyone comes back to Him. He will tend to our wounds and nourish us. He will love us and enlighten us. In the embrace of Christ everything else, all our pain, all our distractions, all of our work melts away and fades into nothing. And all we are left with is the love of Christ. Which is what matters most.Our pain is real. It is deep. It is justified but it will pass. God's love endures, it is eternal. But love is not just an emotion-it is a promise.It is a promise to tend to those we love. It is a promise to care for, to live for, to work for, to serve, to sacrifice, to give your last, to give your all, and to be your loved ones keeper.That's what I think The Lord means when He gives us His love. It's what I know I promise my family when I tell them I love them. And I know it's what they have promised me. And we have lived up to those promises.We have been through so much, each of us, we will do more than survive, we will prevail. We will prevail in the promise of our love one to another.