Christoper Lloyd (Back to the Future) reprises his role as the eccentric piranha expert with survivor Paul Scheer (The League) and a partially devoured Ving Rhames (Pulp Fiction) back for more fish frenzy. The world’s most famous lifeguard David Hasselhoff aka ‘The Hoff’, trades in the sandy beaches of Baywatch to be a celebrity lifeguard at the racy water park.
Prepare for double the terror, double the action and double the Ds in this sequel also starring Gary Busey (Lethal Weapon), Katrina Bowden (30 Rock), Danielle Panabaker (The Crazies), Matt Bush (Adventureland), Chris Zylka (The Amazing Spider-Man) and David Koechner (Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy).
Starring: Danielle Panabaker, Chris Zylka, Ving Rhames, Christopher Lloyd, Katrina Bowden
Directed by: John Gulager
Runtime: 83 minutes
Studio: The Weinstein CompanyI
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Review: Piranha DD
Piranha 3D (2010) left me drinking heavily as a means of coping so why I delved into Piranha DD I’m really not sure. A year after the events of the first film, Lake Victoria is unsurprisingly abandoned. Don’t worry though, the piranhas have appeared in Cross Lake now and lay their eggs inside a dead cow which soon hatch and take out a group of farmers. Meanwhile, Maddy (Danielle Panabaker) returns from her studies to the theme park she co-owns with her step-father Chet (David Koechner). Much to Maddy’s horror, Chet has turned the theme park into the Big Wet with one of the must-haves being scantily clad women in bikinis and some not even bothering with clothes at all. Yes, the theme park has its own adult section and nothing is left to the imagination. Maddy has a love triangle to resolve with ex-boyfriend now policeman Kyle (Chris Zylka) still interested while an old friend Barry (Matt Bush) has been in love with her for years.
Inevitably, some horny teenagers head into the surrounding lake and start to have grisly encounters with the piranhas. They are even more malevolent than in the previous film. The piranhas that is, not the victims. The victims are just more stupid. Fancy skinny dipping? I wouldn’t advise it given that the piranhas now like to enter the human body and hang around until a meal arrives. I’ll leave that one to your imagination. The piranhas eventually find their way into the theme park and despite Maddy’s warnings, Chet insists the opening of Big Wet will go ahead. To honor this grand occasion is David Hasselhoff playing himself and rolling back the years by reliving his days as Mitch from Baywatch going all lifeguard as the locals are devoured before him.
Piranha DD is without question the worst film I have seen this year and given that I’ve watched Piranhaconda that takes some doing. There is plenty of gore, piranhas becoming acquainted with penises, Christopher Lloyd in a lab, a guy called Big Dave humping a pipe because he loves the feel of the fast flowing water (just you I reckon, Dave!), the Hoff running in slow motion with wobbly moobs and a return from Ving Rhames who took out scores of piranhas in the first film with an outboard motor. To be fair the odd line is quite funny but the rest of the film is simply atrocious from start to finish.
Piranha 3D was a hard act to follow given how awful it was but Piranha DD has astonished me being even worse. A handful of well-known actors are in this and I can only assume the film’s budget was devoted entirely to their salaries as opposed to the effects or script. If you approach this with no expectations other than it being complete crap then you won’t be disappointed. Otherwise stay well clear of this one.
Verdict: 1/5
(Film source: reviewer’s own copy)