FFS!? Friday : Unhappy with the Happy Snappers

By Parentalparody @parental_parody



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Not to be dramatic or anything....but cameras are evil, soul stealing things


Let me preface this post by saying I am not a happy snapper.
The Feral Threesome will likely grow up assuming they were adopted out at 6 months (when I stopped taking regular baby snaps of their every drooling, crawling moment), and then reintroduced to the family randomly through the year (for annual birthday cake candle blowing, Christmas and birthday present opening and family holiday happy snaps).  FFS!?
It is a massive FFS!? for me, to say that it's school photo time.  FFS!?
The Twin Tornado are in Kindy, and so their school photo's are done by a different company to Miss7.
I have no clue why.
Perhaps they specialise in younger kids...like those irritating, perky young happy snappers that try and make eye contact in shopping centres when you've got a leaning, wonky trolley full of food and melting ice cream, and a whining toddler or two...but they spring out in front of your path, assuming you'll love being stopped in your tracks to discuss having a photo of your tantrumming toddler right this very second.  FFS!?
Since it's a different company that do the Kindy shots, they don't do family shots with siblings in other classes.  FFS!?
And of course the company that does the rest of the school doesn't do Kindy kids.  FFS!?
So no chance of cheapskating my way to one single shot of The Feral Threesome together.  FFS!?
The Kindy happy snappers were asking $30+ per child for a standard size photo and a couple of smaller head shots.  FFS!?
The happy snappers doing the rest of the school are much cheaper...at $18 for a single photo.  FFS!?
I don't hang photos.  I don't frame photos.  Particularly not passport photo sized head shots.  FFS!?
I save photo's electronically and put the flash drive in our safe.  Lest the house burn down and destroy all proof that they weren't actually adopted or hidden and wheeled out only on special occasions.
I'm not paying $80+ to have a single photo of each of my children.  FFS!?
And who can buy just one single photo - then you have to negotiate United Nations style over which set of Grandparents get that one single photo.  FFS!?
So we would, in fact, be looking at over $100 for 3 sets - one for us and one each for both sets of Grandparents.  FFS!?
I'm not confident my kids have triple-digit smiles.  FFS!?
Why are school photos so expensive? 
Clearly they're playing on the parental guilt factor.  That no one parent wants to be the single tight arse in the class who refuses to pay for a photo of their beloved angel in their school finery.  FFS!?
I am well happy with being that tight arse who says no to exorbitant pricing for one single photo.

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Instead, I am going to put them in their school uniforms on a sunny weekend, drive to school and bribe them with McDonalds if they will stand in close personal range of one another and faux smile as if they're loving it, so that Mummy can take her own school photo to email out to the relatives.  No FFS!?
And then with the $100+ that I've saved, I will congratulate myself with wine and cheese while the kids eat their Happy Meals and we all smile for real.  No FFS!?