Saturday Chai announced that he wanted to go to Kmart. FFS.
I asked him why and he said he wanted a car. FFS.
It was very wild and stormy, however I needed to go to the supermarket so we headed out. When we got to Kmart Chai decided that he needed a new pair of shoes. FFS.
He carefully examined all of the shoes until he found the ones that he wanted. FFS.
Every time I tried to persuade him to leave he'd say "Hang on a second Mummy, I'm just looking for something". FFS.
Where does he get this from?
Sunday the kids were going crazy after being locked up inside for a few days, so I decided to take a trip to Bunnings (they have an indoor playground). Thanks to both boys playing up, it took me two hours to get us all ready to leave the house. FFS.
We found the stuff we needed at Bunnings and parked our trolley containing all our things outside the playground whilst Chai played. When we were in there someone came along and stole the trolley. FFS.
Thankfully they left our shopping on the chair so I didn't have to go and get it all again. Not FFS.
I had Eljay in the carrier and he wanted to get out, so I put him down. He immediately climbed up the stairs and stood at the top of the play gym thingo screaming with delight. It's the first time he's seen stairs. FFS.
Unsatisfied with just standing there screaming, he then decided to crawl all through the play ground, with me crawling after him. Those playgrounds are not made for adults. FFS.
When we'd finished at Bunnings I couldn't face the thought of heading home so we went to Subway to get lunch. They didn't have any high chairs. FFS.
Eljay refused to stay in the carrier so I took him out and held him. Imagine trying to hold of 9kg's of wriggly jelly with one hand, feed it with the other, wrangle a three year old and feed yourself all at the same time. It was fun. FFS.
When we got home Chai spent the whole afternoon alternately trying to maim his brother and crying because "We miss Daddy so, so much. I want Daddy to come back now. I need Daddy".
I hate him being upset about Tiger being away. FFS.
We all know how in love I am with my coffee machine. After my family it's my one true love. Monday I nearly killed it. FFS.
I made my morning coffee and prior to drinking it (big mistake), I refilled it with coffee. I opened the packet and poured a huge serving in, then realised I'd used pre ground coffee instead of beans. FFS.
It was all through the machine and no matter what I did I couldn't get it out. FFS.
I tried using the dustbuster, didn't work. FFS.
I tried using a spoon, didn't work. FFS.
I tried using the dishcloth, didn't work. FFS.
I tried using my fingers, didn't work. FFS.
Then I came up with the genius idea of using the vacuum and it worked a treat. Not FFS.
My beloved coffee machine is fine. Not FFS.
I was severely traumatised. FFS.
I'm not sure I'll ever recover from the shock. FFS.