Tiger went away on Wednesday so I'm feeling sorry for myself again. FFS.
He's decided that he loves this job because it gives him two weeks at home with us. FFS.
I've decided that I hate this job because it means two weeks of solo parenting for me. FFS.
When Tiger is home he brings me a drink in the mornings. Not FFS.
Friday morning my drink was sitting on the bedside table. I hadn't had any of it when Chai spilled it all over the floor. FFS.
Naturally it went down behind the bed making it very difficult to clean up. FFS.
Poor Chai came down with a cold on Friday. FFS.
This meant that I got no packing done. FFS.
Friday night we were putting a fan in his room (after he went to sleep) and we woke him up. FFS.
I went over to his cot to pick him up, couldn't see in the dark and whacked him in the face. FFS.
Poor baby. As if he wasn't feeling bad enough then I whack him in the face. FFS.
Friday night I woke in the night feeling very amorous. Not FFS.
Of course it had to happen the night Chai was sleeping in our bed. FFS.
I contemplated waking Tiger up and taking him into another room to have my wicked way with him, however every time I tried to move Chai off me he woke up. FFS.
Saturday I came down with a cold. FFS.
After not giving a damn about the condition of our house for the last six years, now that it's sold Tiger is suddenly super finicky about everything. FFS.
It's driving me crazy! He's constantly on at me about Chai damaging things, even though he hasn't damaged anything. FFS.
We have a small courtyard out the back and Chai has dug a little hole in the grass. It was like this when we sold the house. Tiger is now carrying on about the hole and trying to stop Chai playing in it (he likes to fill it up with water and then stomp in the muddy water) because "we can't sell the house with a hole in the lawn". FFS.
Despite me having told him at least five times that the lawn was like that all three times the buyer came over, Tiger will not let up. FFS.
The way he carries on you'd think the hole was 10 meters across. FFS.
According to Tiger I "just don't get it". FFS.
He's the one who doesn't get it. FFS.
I have tried to explain to Tiger that as long as we don't trash the house, it's not supposed to be perfect as it's not a brand new house. He doesn't seem to comprehend this. FFS.
Sunday we planned to take Chai to the zoo in the morning. We weren't very organised and as we were trying to get ready Chai decided to make things interesting. FFS.
He whinged and carried on so much that it took us over an hour to get ready. FFS.
By the time we were ready it was 10.20am. Considering that it would take us about 15 minutes to get here and that Chai has his sleep at 12pm, it wasn't worth going. FFS.
Instead we went to the Coventry Markets. On the way there Tiger asked me which way I thought we should go. I told him the only way I know. Off he goes and then he's sitting at the traffic lights saying "quick, which way should we go". FFS.
He never asks which way to go, he always goes whatever way he wants to. FFS.
When we're halfway there he starts complaining that his way would have been quicker. FFS.
I would have strangled him but it was too much effort. FFS.
When we got there Tiger decided to use the pram, which I haven't used for months because Chai hates it. FFS.
Chai carried on the whole time he was in the pram. FFS.
It was a f@#$ing nightmare of a morning made worse by Chai and I being unwell. FFS.
Tiger is convinced the solution to every problem we have with Chai is day care. FFS.
He doesn't sleep through the night because he doesn't go to day care. He was whingeing all Sunday morning because he doesn't go to day care. He's been clingy ever since Tiger started doing FIFO work because he doesn't go to day care. FFS.
I am so sick of hearing about f@#$ing day care. FFS.
Monday we had our 19 week pregnancy scan. I was so nervous due to one of the horror stories I've heard about things that can be wrong with the baby (which I won't share here so that I don't pass my irrational fear on to any of you who are or may become pregnant in the future). FFS.
The scan took ages (about half and hour). I don't remember it taking so long with Chai so was convinced that something was wrong with the bub. FFS.
Everything is fine with the baby, thank goodness. Not FFS.
Maybe I just got an extra thorough sonographer, or are they radiographers? FFS.
It's got me beat how single parents manage to move. I've been trying to pack the last few days and it's a nightmare. FFS.
Chai's idea of helping is to pull everything out of the box that I've just packed. FFS.
When he's not doing that he's screaming because I won't let him play with the tape dispenser or texta. Fun. FFS.
When you are all having fun this extra long weekend, think of me trying to pack with the assistance of my screaming, tantrum throwing, climbing two year old.
Now that you've read all my whinges, head over to Dear Baby G and see what everyone else is whinging about.