I've totally sucked at parenting.
I don't even have a good excuse other than the usual tired and no time to myself.
Not good enough.
Chai's been off school sick with a strange sort of gastro.
He probably could have gone to school from Wednesday, but his belly was still a bit dodgy so I kept him home.
Tuesday I took him for a therapy called Neuro Emotional Technique. It was very strange.
I have no idea if it helped but she said that he might be out of sorts for 24 to 48 hours. She wasn't wrong.
I feel like I'm about to explode.
Wednesday we'd been busy all day. I took the kids to three different parks and did everything I could to make sure they had a great day. We got home at 4pm and I was exhausted. I just wanted to sit down for five minutes, have a drink and a rest.
I got the kids settled, turned the tv on, gave them a drink and some food then sat down.
My bottom had just touched the seat when they started.
Mum get me an apple.
Mum get me a drink.
Mum, I don't like this tv show.
Mum he's sitting in my spot.
Mum the dog is annoying us.
I lost it. I screamed at them to shut up and went to my bedroom.
The little fuckers followed me so I screamed at them to get out of the room.
They stood outside the bedroom door crying.
Nice work. Way to be a good parent.
I eventually pulled myself together and apologised to the kids. I calmed them down and explained to them that sometimes I need a rest.
The rest of the evening was uneventful.
That night Chai wouldn't go to sleep.
I hate those nights.
When he gets like that he won't stay asleep unless I'm in the bed with him.
I am so sick of sleeping with him.
It's been three years now and I'm done.
After crying for two hours he finally went to sleep. In my bed.
I just wanted to watch The Bachelorette in peace.
Thursday wasn't much better. They were whinging, fighting and crying from the second they woke up. I just wanted to walk out the door and never come back.
We had to go in to town. As I was loading the kids into the car to come home my phone rang. I stood at the back of the car and Chai went in to panic mode because he couldn't see me. FFS.
I yelled at him to stop crying.
Great way to deal with a kid with anxiety, yelling at them is really going to make it better.
Luckily for all of us Chai went to sleep and stayed asleep Thursday night.
I got to watch The Bachelorette in peace. Bliss.
So far today I've managed not to yell at anyone but I still feel like I'm about to explode.
Think I'm going to start having vodka in my morning coffee.