FFS!? Friday: Insurance

Well FFS!? if I didn't forget the first birthday of FFS!? Friday last week. I'm like that Aunt who sends birthday cards so late that there's no way anyone believes her when she claims it was due to the slow postal system.  Before showing up at the next family gathering and drinking all the wine like nothing happened. My bad, FFS!? Friday. FFS. Today I'm whining about insurance. Can I get a multiple and resounding FFS!? just for the sheer fact that it is insurance and I am yet to meet anybody who hasn't had a bad experience with an insurance company? My car insurance renewal came in for Ye Olde Holden.  We're talking about a 2003 Holden Commodore station wagon, people.  It would probably cost more to tow the old boganmobile WHEN it finally flat lines, than it would to repair it.  However, due to the previous year's floods and storms and record insurance claims by everyone except me, on everything except vehicle insurance....my insurer whacked my premium up a massive 48%. FFS!? So of course I phoned them and got all ranty about it.  Except I was on hold for 14 minutes and 28 seconds so I was only ranting to myself and their poorly elevator style mood muzak.  Music which I'm sure is so dull and lame in order to lull your mind into sleep mode...so that you are no longer ranty and angry by the time someone finally picks up.  You've lost all fight.  You just want a nap and something to mop up the blood that has started trickling from your poor ears. FFS!? At 14 minutes and 28 seconds I am addressed by a real live person.  A REAL LIVE PERSON!  Not a voice prompt machine, not a recording.  The person tells me that they are experiencing an unusually high level of calls.  Exactly what her recorded counterpart had been telling me in-between Greatest Elevator Hits of the 1950's. FFS!? The recording even had the nerve to lie to me, estimating the wait to be 16 minutes.  The real person advised that it's actually more like a 30 minute wait...at least....probably more, only their recording only goes up to 16 minutes. MoFo FFS!? They promised to call me back. Four and a half hours later the 16 minute queue had obviously cleared and I got a call back. While I'm in the toilet at the shopping center. Mid stream. FFS!? I nearly weed all over myself in a panicked attempt to answer the bloody call before it went to Message Bank.  FFS!? You can understand my panic -If Call Centre time equates 16 minutes to four and a half hours, I estimated that I would be 92 by the time they put me back to the bottom of the eternal 16 minute queue and called again. FFS!?

You dropped something.
No not that.
This.

I got my ranty on and protested about the increase.  I've never ever lodged a claim.  My car is old and crap and hardly even worth insuring.  Why am I paying on my VEHICLE policy for the natural disasters and completely unrelated claims of others on their PROPERTY and BUSINESS insurance? FFS!? I was directed to the fact that my policy had actually increased by more than I said.  I hadn't checked page 2 of the policy for the final total.  So it's more like a 54% increase. FFS!? But it's okay, because everyone is wearing an increase.  Some of up to 60%.  Oh I feel so much better that I'm only wearing 54% on a policy I've never ever claimed on. FFS!? So I "politely" told them that I wouldn't be renewing my policy.  At which point my bored and testy consultant said "OK". Not even a "Well that's your choice, thank you for your custom, if you reconsider or there's anything else we can help you with... etc". FFS!? Then I indignantly took to the Google powers that be to find cheaper insurance. Yeah, turns out my previous insurer was the cheapest.  FFS!? But of course I couldn't go back to them, all meek and humble, waiting another four and a half hours to renew the policy I'd told them to put somewhere unnatural. FFS!? So now Ye Olde Holden is insured with a different company.  At a 62% increase on what it cost me last year. FFS!?

This is where I'm going for my next policy, yo