If Tiger told me he had a residential job somewhere I'd be there in a heartbeat. FFS.
Pretty stupid considering that I've just started building a support network here. I have a few friends that I see regularly, Chai has a friend and my family is close. Moving would be stupid. FFS.
I think about it constantly. FFS.
So far I've suggested to Tiger that we move to Dubai, Cananda, Melbourne, Karratha, Perth, Bendigo, Hobart and Queensland. He hasn't said no to any of these suggestions so I live in hope. Not FFS.
Selling everything and touring around in a bus is looking pretty attractive right now too. FFS.
There are times I'm amazed that I'm allowed to be in charge of kids. FFS.
Wednesday night I put Chai to bed as per usual. About an hour later both boys woke up and when I was trying to get them back to sleep I realised that I hadn't put a nappy on Chai. FFS.
Thankfully he hadn't wee'd everywhere. Not FFS.
As I went to sleep that night I was thankful that Chai was wearing a nappy so that I wouldn't wake up in a pool of wee. Not FFS.
Must have been tempting fate or something because instead I woke up in a bloodbath. FFS.
Chai had gotten a blood nose during the night and there was blood everywhere. FFS.
All over the sheets, the quilt, the pillows, Chai and me. FFS.
By 8am I'd been awake three hours, done four loads of washing, changed two nappies, got myself and both the kids fed and dressed, striped and remade the bed and drank two coffees.
As I was hanging out the last load of washing Chai decided to smear food all over the clean quilt that was hanging on the line to dry. FFS.
Luckily I could spot clean it instead of having to wash the quilt again. FFS.
As he gets older I am seeing more and more of me in Eljay. Lucky boy. Heh.
He is a very strong willed little thing and gets extremely upset when he doesn't get what he wants. FFS.
Taking the lead from his brother he's started headbutting. FFS.
He has a permanent bruise in the middle of his forehead from headbutting things. FFS.
When I don't give him what he wants he headbutts me. FFS.
If he can't headbutt me he headbutts the floor, the wall or anything else that's in reach. FFS.
I alternate between being concerned and wanting to laugh. FFS/Not FFS.
That's the end of my weekly whinge. You probably won't hear from me next week as there is a strong chance I'll be dead. I'm going to start exercising again and instead of easing into it I've decided to do HIIT. I know it's going to kill me. If it doesn't kill me I expect I'll be totally incapacitated and unable to move my arms and legs. In light of my imminent demise, it's been lovely knowing you all, have a wonderful life.