The absolutely worst thing anyone could ever imagine happening, happened. FFS.
It all started out normally. We woke at the crack of dawn, got up and started going about our morning business. I turned the coffee machine on, pressed the button, did a few things then went to get my coffee. All perfectly normal. It was only when I was stiring my coffee that I realised what had happened. FFS.
I ran out of coffee. FFS.
It was 6am so I couldn't go and get more. FFS.
Disaster. FFS.
I frantically rummaged through the cupboards. Nothing. FFS.
There was no coffee to be seen. FFS.
It's quite disgusting that I have to put up with such inhumane conditions. If only I had a union to complain to.
Sunday night was fun. Or not. FFS.
We'd had a good, busy day so by the end of the day we were all tired.
I had both boys in the bath and Chai was eating from a bowl of chips (rice crackers). He decided to float the bowl in the bath which was fine. Then he decided to submerge the bowl and was really surprised when the chips went floating all through the bath. FFS.
He collected the ones that he could and ate a few whilst Eljay frantically grabbed all that he could and stuffed them into his mouth. FFS.
I'm still fishing chips out of the bath. FFS.
After I'd bathed both boys Eljay was fussy because he was really tired. FFS.
When I was getting him dried and dressed he got upset and started crying. FFS.
Chai was so exhausted that Eljay's crying upset him, so he covered his ears and started screaming because Eljay was crying. FFS.
That made Eljay scream louder. FFS.
I tried to convince Chai to go into another room so he didn't have to listen to Eljay cry, but he wouldn't. The poor boy was getting really wound up but there was nothing I could do. FFS.
It took me twice as long to get Eljay dressed because he was straightening his legs so I couldn't do up his nappy. FFS.
Just after I got them both sorted out and calmed down, hubby rang from the pub. FFS.
He rarely goes out and I encourage him to go to the pub at least once whilst he's at work, just for a change of scenery and so that he can relax, but hearing him say he was at the pub after I'd just spent all that time listening to both children scream was the last thing I wanted. FFS.
He asked if I was okay and I said everything was fine. FFS.
I settled Chai with some food and got him to watch tv whilst I put Eljay to sleep. I'd just got Eljay to sleep and was about to put him in bed when Chai came in and said that he wanted to go to sleep. He then proceed to jump on the bed and make a crap load of noise until he woke up Eljay. FFS.
It took me two hours to get Eljay back to sleep. FFS.
It's times like these that I hate fifo. FFS.
To make things worse, I was starving hungry and totally exhausted. FFS.
When I say exhausted I mean so tired that I could barely keep my eyes open. You know when you're so tired that your eyes hurt and they burn every time you close them? That's how I'd been feeling all day. FFS.
Thankfully Monday was a better day. Not FFS.
Until Monday evening when everything went to crap. FFS.
Luckily my Dad was over so he helped. Not FFS.
Once again, I had both boys in the bath. Eljay was tired so I got him out when Chai decided he wanted to get out too. FFS.
Rather than wait for me to help him he got himself out of the bath, slipped on the wet floor, fell over backwards and cracked his head. FFS.
Eljay was screaming, Chai was screaming and Tiger was on Skye trying to talk to us and wondering what all the screaming was about. FFS.
Tuesday continued in much the same vein. The day was good but the evening turned to crap. Literally. FFS.
And it was all my own fault. FFS.
I got Poo Thumb. FFS.
I was putting Eljay to sleep when I thought I could smell poo. FFS.
I tried to have a look in there with the light from my phone but I couldn't see anything, so I stupidly decided to stick my thumb in there. FFS.
And got poo on it. Gross. FFS.
I'm pretty sure my whole body has now been infected with poo or spew germs. FFS.
I'll never be the same again. FFS.
Wednesday we all came down with a cold. FFS.
This means I had two cases of mini man flu. FFS.
For Chai this mainfested as a lot of whinging and yelling. FFS.
For Eljay he cried every time I put him down and wouldn't sleep. FFS.
We had to go and get fuel that day. FFS.
Both kids screamed the whole way to the petrol station. FFS.
When we got there I was the third person in the queue. I checked which side the fuel tank was on cause I didn't remember, made sure I was in the right queue and waited. When I got to the bowser I found that the fuel tank was on the other side and the hose wouldn't reach my car. FFS.
So I thought "Firetruck this", got in the car and drove to the next station. The station I'd been at had fuel for 141.5, the next one had it for 149.9 so I thought "Firetruck that, I'm not paying 149", so I drove to the next station. Their fuel was 155.7. FFS.
So I drove back to the original petrol station, waited in line again (this time I was number two in line) and got my fuel. FFS.
Then I drove the whole way home again with both kids screaming. FFS.
There is one person who keeps on following and unfollowing me on Pinterest. I have no idea what she's hoping to gain, but she's been following and unfollowing me every few days for the last six weeks. FFS.
Yesterday I had to take Chai to the Dr because he's got croup. FFS.
We got there and the receptionist told me that they'd been trying to call me because the Dr had been called to the hospital and wasn't expected back for at least half an hour. FFS.
I checked my phone and sure enough I had a missed call. FFS.
You'd think they would have tried to call more than once. FFS.
Thankfully, it all turned out well. The got me in to see another Dr who was lovely (and a woman so Chai thought she was great) and she bulk billed! Bonus. Not FFS.
I could complain a lot more about the events of this week, but they are all pretty much the same as I've already complained about. I'm exhausted, we're all sick and Chai keeps on trying to kill his brother. Standard stuff.
If you have had any FFS Friday worthy events, please tell me all about them so that I can feel better about my week. If you'd like to read more whinges, head over to Sarah and Brads blog.