You know how sometimes you have those weeks where you are present in body but your mind is awol? That's been me this week. FFS.
Sunday I was cleaning the house. FFS.
I filled up the water compartment of the steam mop, put it on the bench, plugged the mop in and waited for the steam. Nothing happened. FFS.
I pumped the handle a few times then started mopping without the steam which was a total waste of time. FFS.
After a few minutes I gave up, put the mop down and went to get a drink. It was then that I noticed the water container for the mop sitting on the bench. FFS.
Pretty hard to make steam without water. FFS.
A few days later we were at the shopping center. I had some clothes to return in a plastic bag. We stopped to get a coffee, Tiger sat at a table with Eljay whilst I ordered the coffee. Whilst I was standing in line I realised that I couldn't find the plastic bag. FFS.
I searched around, checked the floor and couldn't see it. FFS.
I was pretty sure I hadn't given it to Tiger and for the life of me I couldn't remember what I'd done with the bag. FFS.
I spent a good few minutes racking my brain trying to remember what I'd done with the bag. FFS.
Then I noticed it hanging on my arm. FFS.
I kid you not. FFS.
Last week a friend told me that she has breast cancer and is having a double mastectomy in a few weeks. FFS.
At times like that I'd like to think that I can offer words of comfort. Nope. FFS.
All I could think to say to her was "Fuck. Fuck. Really? Fuck." FFS.
I followed that up with "Fuck. That's fucked. Fuck. That really sucks" FFS.
Then I managed "I'm here if you need anything at all, say the word and I'll do whatever you need." FFS.
Sofaking supportive. FFS.
Sofaking helpful. FFS.
Don't come to me in a crisis if you need anything helpful. FFS.
I'm not quite sure when my brain left the building, hopefully it manages to make it's way back to me sometime soon. Meanwhile, if you want inappropriate words or to feel better about yourself, let me know and I'll share some of my thoughts.
If you happen to find my brain wandering around, please send it back to me.