Fess Up Friday - Smart Technology 007 Style

By Selina Hoit

Has anyone else noticed the smarter the technology gets the dumber it makes you feel?


In the beginning of summer I received a "smart" car from my husband (OK, for some reason this makes me chuckle) 
Friends, this car is SMART!

First off, it came with KEYLESS technology - ya, you just walk up to the car and it unlocks......magically.....as in, What the heck!?   I just reach out to the handle and it practically speaks my name, welcomes me and invites me in (I am just happy it doesn't offer me candy or ask if I want to see a cute little puppy - I would RUN away if that happened.)  ;-)
Now, if you ever leave your keyless gadget IN the car and walk out it YELLS at you.....seriously, if you feel dumb when people honk at you when the light turns green just get ready to feel the same way over and over again when you leave your keyless entry "keys" in the car and attempt to lock and leave.

First off, I NO LONGER NEED KEYS (Really you guys, you don't even need keys to start your car!  You just push a button!!) So, can you see how easy it would be to leave your little "smart key gadget" in the car?

On a side note, if you are parked in your garage and you need to get in the locked car and you left your window down, do NOT attempt to reach in and push the unlock button.  I mean it, because if  you do, all the neighbors will be calling the cops that someone is murdering you.  Yes, as the "sirens" went off I seriously had to DIVE into that open window (it would not let me unlock the door) and attempt to locate my keyless entry "keys" that were NOT in the car but on the counter inside and I guess that is why my smart car was so mad at me.   I'm sorry, I miss the good old days of being able to unlock your door if the window is down. :-)
Another "smart" thing this car is equipped with, is that it BEEPS REPEATEDLY if you have anything near the front or back of your car bumpers......say, like a big rock.  (and yes, decorative rocks in your yard can put huge dents in your car) But, every morning it beeps violently at me as I pull in or out of my garage (it doesn't like how close I am to the sides) so I get to start my day by the car yelling:


"Can't you even DRIVE lady?"  
I just reply 
"Can't YOU even tell I'm just in my garage?!  Come back when I'm in serious trouble....like about to hit a rock - okay!"



007 and I have these type of conversations daily.....ya, I named my car as it is SO smart, it only seemed right he had a name.....James and I are on a first name basis as we have already been through a LOT together. ;-)


Recent conversation with my 7 year old:




Daughter: Is your car named Siri?
Me: No, his names is James
Daughter: YOUR CAR IS A BOY!????!!! (said with huge wide eyes and open mouth)
Me: Ya, why?  What's wrong with that?
Daughter: Nothing really, it's just weird that you're a girl and your car is a boy.
Me: Well I just thought it's such a smart car that it deserved 007 spy like status, so I should call him James Bond.
Daughter: Your car's really not THAT smart - it always just keeps beeping at you.
TOUCHE!  (Have I ever mentioned how much I love 7 year olds) :-)

I am POSITIVE my girly girl daughter will have a car that looks like this when she is older :-)
On my last 007 Smart Technology adventure I was in the Target parking lot and I could NOT figure out how to roll up my rear window.  Thankfully I had my SMART phone with me (hee,hee) and asked Siri (yes, I just spoke into my phone) "How do I roll up my new 2014 Toyota 4Runner's rear window?"  Obviously there were other "dumb" people that ran into my same dilemma as I was able to quickly locate the LOCK rear window button that somehow got pushed accidentally.  (Why is there a rear window lock button anyway?!)
Of course, the moonroof has to have a story of it's own.  I like tilting the moonroof up to get a little breeze in, but I never remember (or even want to remember) to close it completely when I park in my garage.  I need to sit in the car with a "shaken not stirred" vodka martini and let James know I am in my garage and please stop raising my adrenaline by, ONCE AGAIN,  loudly BEEPING and flashing yellow lights that I did something wrong as I push the "engine off" button. I need to inform him that the only bad thing that can happen is a mouse will find it's way into the car.  But hey, maybe that's what James is worried about.  (My previous "dumb" car let a mouse find it's way into our glove box and didn't let it out tell it died and smelled like hell......I guess I can appreciate my smart car's smarts regarding that one)  :-)

All to say, I am convinced that the smarter the technology gets, the less smart I seem. :-)  Oh well, I do like how it magically starts playing my favorite songs off my iphone playlist - that always puts me in a good mood.  Maybe it's James' way of trying to make me feel better about myself - ha!
I suppose I could get used to being a Bond Girl :-)  
I like it :-)