This is not my own work, though I wish it was. I consider it to be well thought out and clever, and when I first heard it, some years ago, I couldn't stop laughing. Forgive me if I'm repeating something you readers already know. If, by any chance it is new to you, I hope you find it amusing.
"A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30000 loan to take a holiday."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall - bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30000, and he wants to use this as collateral."
She holds up the tiny pink elephant.
"I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone." " And another, again not my own work. I found this hilarious. The Lord of the manor had a butler named Wibble. One day he called Wibble and said, "What about running my bath, Wibble?"
"Certainly, Sir," replied Wibble. "Will there be anything else my lord?"
"Yes, Wibble, what about my dressing gown."
"Certainly, Sir. Will there be anything else my lord?"
"Yes, Wibble, what about my carpet slippers."
"Certainly, Sir, will there be anything else my lord?"
"No, Wibble. If I require anything else I shall call you."
With that, the old lord lowered himself into the water and let go a long, loud fart. Five minutes later, Wibble returned with a hot water bottle on a silver tray.
"Here you are, my lord, your hot water bottle."
"I never asked for that," said his lordship.
Wibble replied, "But you did, my lord. As you lowered yourself into the bath, I distinctly heard you say, "Whadabowdawadderboddlewibble."
I hope these examples can be classed as Feghoots. In any case, I hope they have made you smile or even laugh out loud.
No poem today. Nothing could possibly complement.
Thanks for reading, Pam x
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