But there is one feeling that I didn't expect, and I seem to feel it a lot: Outrage.
I am outraged at the abuse disabled people suffer at the hands of people who are supposed to be caring for them.
I am outraged at the lack of services and support our kids get in school.
I am outraged at the callous use of the word "retard" by people who should know better.
I am outraged when adults with autism tell me I don't care for my child the right way.
I am outraged when parents of autistic children don't listen to adults with autism.
I am outraged when a parent doesn't vaccinate their child, or spreads lies about vaccine safety.
I am outraged when two loving people cannot get married because they are of the same gender.
The list goes on. And I have to stop and wonder - is all this outrage good for me? Is it good for anyone? Fueled by caffeine and righteousness, the internet is full of so much outrage. It's exhausting.
The statements above are all things I believe. I believe them strongly. They are valid and important concerns. But outrage on the internet is just the daily state of being and has lost its power. We can't possibly yell loud enough to be heard anymore, and I can feel my blood pressure rising over - over what? A political pundit out for ratings? The insults of a troll who is only looking for attention? The real issues, the human beings, get lost in all the noise.
There has to be a better way.