So I have a neighbor who likes to play their television on Blast at all times of the day.
I feel so angry today I exploded and beat on the wall and cussed….why yes I feel like a crazy person now.
I probably should go directly to the rude neighbor and ask then to quiet Down but for some reason I am scared of being killed or putting anyone I love in danger. I am terrified of confrontation.
…this is not a normal fear and probably due to a awful childhood. Which is no reason for me to act psycotic.
I have so much rage inside me I can feel it grinding my bones.i think this is mainly due to my hatred for my father.
He was selfish and constantly loud. I could not sit and relax and think because he was always talking or playing loud intentionally annoying music.
Being stuck in my home with someone really loud all the time makes me feel trapped and enraged. I need quiet to gather my thoughts after a long day of work.
Maybe I am being selfish for wanting it this way. I feel I am being very passive aggressive. I am going to go talk to the owners about this. Which I should have done before I got this mad.
I feel just bad and don’t know how to feel better. I feel scared that our neighbors are going to lash back at me now.
I don’t know what to do with all this rage and hate I feel that is undoubtedly not helping anything… I feel guilt so heavy I can’t breath.
I just want to let it all go but I fear it is buried too deep. Like an ugly beast hiding in the corner. Whom can obviously be unleashed at random.
Not a good way to deal with things…
What to do?
Stay strong you are not alone ♡