"Even the Poop?" Plus 4 More Great Tweets

SCALPEL *scalpel* SPONGE *sponge* PULL IT "uh, I don't" BOP IT "Dr…this doesn't—" Nurse: we're losing him DAMMIT I SAID BOP IT *flatlines*
— da chillest pill (@crylenol) February 23, 2015

Once I realized my most valuable asset is a camouflaged fanny pack crammed with Arby's horsey sause, that will pretty much drafted itself.
— Juicedballs (@Juicedballs) February 23, 2015

A telemarketer just called me and I responded by saying, "I am talking dog, isn't that fucking amazing?!?!?" It was fun. I like to have fun.
— Jake Fogelnest (@jakefogelnest) February 23, 2015

[Native Americans showing me their ways] We use every part of the buffalo EVEN THE POOP? "Yep" says the one guy with an extremely smelly hat
— Jeff Wysaski (@pleatedjeans) February 23, 2015

Sorry I drank your waterbed
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 21, 2015