For the past couple of months now I've had spells of being very pro active in the Internet world and then all of a sudden I'm off the radar (can't believe I haven't blogged since 13th of July!) I feel the need to explain this and to talk about why this is; Not for any reason in particular, I'm not justifying anything or doing this for anyone other than myself. For me.
I love my blog, it's something I'm very passionate about and it's something I thoroughly enjoy doing, it's always been something very positive to me. But these past couple of months I've been struggling to make it personal... to connect to it. I find that we always seem to blog about the good things in our lives, we show everyone the good days out, the nice new outfits, the patchwork quilts we're sleeping in, ect. But we
I do find that talking about it all helps, talking about how low I was makes me realize that right now things aren't that shit and that's why I'm sort of doing this post. I want to reconnect to my blog and for it to become personal again and to become a little 'off growth' of me.
Blogging has always been something which has been a positive thing to me, and with all that happening I've not wanted to blog because I've not had anything good to blog about. I don't know why? we should be able to openly talk about things which aren't that great in our lives if we choose too, Why not?
At this moment in time, I am no where near the place I was 5 months ago, I honestly am so proud to say that, at the moment though I'm still not 100% which is why I haven't blogged. Blogging has always been something which is so personal to me and with not blogging properly for months I feel like I've lost that connection with it. If that makes sense? In real life (when my laptop is off) I am very open about all this, I will talk about it and It's not all something to be ashamed of. If I didn't go through any of this I wouldn't of learnt the things I have learnt, I wouldn't be able to appreciate the things that I do now. For the past couple of weeks I've been very unhappy with my everyday, I've become very negative about pretty much everything. I am the only person who can change that, and right now I feel like this blog post and just getting it off my chest and opening up to everyone is a way of moving on and just biting the bullet and getting on with things. I need to make a change in how my life is at the moment and I can't do that if I'm not actively doing it or trying.
I'm not doing this blog post so that I can receive any form of sympathy or woah is me I'm the only person who has problems (please I'm not THAT type of drama queen) I am doing this for myself. Knowing that I've been struggling to connect too my blog for a good while now is something I'm rather unhappy with and I feel this post will connect me back to it and will become something which in a way will help myself and I can carry on enjoying it and love what I do and for it to be positive again and to be passionate about it again. A post along these lines has been something I've been thinking about sort of since January/February when I was really low and I never felt like it was the right time to do it, whereas now... I feel yeah I'm not 100% happy but I know I am no where near the dark places I was at the beginning of the year and I know things are getting better and they will carry on doing so, but I am the only one who can change that and I'm determined to do it.
So... expect to hear a lot more off me and I do want to blog about all aspects of my life, the shit and the good. I do want my blog to become MINE again.. Here's to that!
xxx