Happy Friday! Another week gone by…how is it that we are already moving into mid-June?? Crazy! Anyways, its day 3 of the 10 day you challenge and it’s time to focus on my fears. You will find a very common theme among my first 4 fears…sorry about the repetitiveness, but these are MY fears.
Day Three: Eight Fears
1. Ashton dying. The thought of losing this little boy brings me to tears just writing this. I have had a few friends who have lost their children, the way it felt to watch that was crushing, and in no way comparable to what they felt, but I NEVER, EVER want to feel that.
2. Robyn dying. I like to joke with Robyn because he is quite a bit older than me, but because of that, I also worry about something happening to him. I couldn’t imagine my life now without him in it.
3. Me dying. I don’t want to miss out on watching Ashton grow up and experiencing life or growing old with Robyn. The thought of not being able to do that brings me a lot of anxiety, especially when I have to travel, etc.
4. Losing my mom or sister. I’ve mentioned this before, but I only have my Mom and sister left and losing them would be devastating.
5. Not being the kind of parent that Ashton appreciates and is proud of. Obviously as a parent we want to do the very best we can for our kids and give them the best possible life. It would eat me up if I wasn’t able to give him this. I want the best for him and I spend so much time agonizing over important (or what I think is important) decisions about him and his future. I hope he understands and appreciates that as he gets older. I also hope he thinks I’m a cool parent, you know, the house that everyone goes to and hangs out at because the parents are fun, (in a responsible way,) has good snacks, do fun activities, etc.
6. Being a failure and not accomplishing my major life goals or bucket list items. I have always been a goal driven person and I always have a goal or plan in mind. I hope I am able to achieve my goals. The thought of failing and letting down myself and my family keeps a fire lit under me.
7. Not being able to workout. I don’t think this one needs much of an explanation.
8. Home invasions. I know this may be a strange, but I hate being in our house alone and even when I am not alone, at night, every noise makes me jump. I often lay in bed and get nervous when the furnace kicks on or I hear an unusual creek. I also check (and sometimes recheck) all the doors and windows at night before we go to bed. The rational part of me knows the likelyhood of this is slim, but it still terrifies me. Maybe I shouldn’t watch movies like Taken anymore
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Question of the day
What is one of your fears?