On Saturday, December 15th the Deep Water Earth First! eco choir met in Lansing to spread bio-centric cheer. First, they visited the home of Michael Barratt (2173 White Owl Way, Okemos, MI 48864), a petroleum geologist with the Michigan Oil and Gas Producers Education Foundation. With a few knocks and a ring of the bell, he came to the door in his pajamas. The choir shouted “Happy Holidays!” and “Season’s Greetings”. The drum rhythm began. They jumped right into their song “Drillin’” an enhanced version of “Jingle Bells.” After raptly listening to the full song, he seemed full of remorse as he bid the group a solemn farewell and closed the door. The eco-choir moved to the driveway where they sang “Corporate Scum” in the direction of the bedroom window. The grand finale came with “Six Feet Below the Ground,” compliments to radical carolers of the BAAM Boston Anarchist collective.
Sign at the end of the dirt road leading back to Keith’s house.
Keith Creagh was next (1965 Epley Rd, Williamston, MI 48895). This man is the director of the Michigan Department of Natural Resources. It’s his job to place economic interest over the health of the environment and the rest of us animals. Most notably, he auctions off mineral rights for horizontal hydraulic fracturing, or fracking. Oil and gas barons have him convinced that they will continue the old methods of extraction (vertical hydraulic fracturing) which are slightly safer than unconventional fracturing. Companies buying the rights to these minerals don’t have to respect the Great Lakes Compact, in other words, they are allowed to steal millions of gallons of water.
As the choir walked up Creagh’s long, winding driveway just after midnight, they passed a small lake. “bet there won’t be a drilling rig on this guy’s property” someone whispered. They rang the bell. After a few seconds, they knocked on his door a few times. The house was completely dark and there was no response, but the choir began their songs. Confetti rained down on them. They sang a few of their favorite tunes. “He must not be home…” someone noticed between songs. Their voices loud with the holiday spirit, they continued a few minutes. The choir decided to head out. On their way, they announced “We know where you live, Keith” Lights inside the house flipped on. Some singers caught a glimpse of him, cowering in the shadows, on the phone.
The message was clear, the land grab must stop, mineral extraction is not acceptable, exploitation of the planet will not fly. No compromise, zombie headed nincompoops.
If nothing else, the spirits of the choir were made bright. Members of the Deep Water Earth First! eco-choir recommend taking some of these carols to an eco-bully near you.
To see the carols…
Drillin’
to the tune of ‘Jingle Bells’
drilling thru the shale
with no regard for life
polluting all the water
laughing all the way hahhahaha
blue jays ‘n otters die
the river is coated with slime…
oh how sad it is to ruin the lives
of all these creatures.
drilling thru the shale,
thousands of smelly trucks,
turning air to smog, giving kids asthma
great lakes quench our thirst. while you drink patron
laughing all the way, hahaha!
industry wrecks ecosystems,
oh how sad it is to see
earth destroyed by greedy pigs, hey!
drilling thru the shale,
DEQ on your side,
scraping all the wild,
from the places we love,
worried it’s too late,
so many droughts and floods,
as the ice caps melt,
oh what horror to see islands
swallowed by the sea, hey!
drilling through the shale,
slicing down the trees,
disregard for life,
how do you sleep at night?
the earth is getting drier,
you should really quit,
oh what fun it is to be a bicycle riding
freak, yeah!
Six Feet Below the Ground
to the tune of ‘Joy to the World’
Joy to the world
The time has come
Let earth receive all kings!
Let bosses, CEOs and bureaucrats
Find rest with worms and parasites
Six feet below the ground
Six feet below the ground
Six feet, six feet
Below the ground.
They rule the world
With fear and hate
And take what we create!
The time has come to celebrate
It’s them we’re going to relocate
Six feet below the ground
Six feet below the ground
Six feet, six feet
Below the ground.
Corporate Scum
to the tune of ‘Silent Night’
silent spring, drilling rigs
all is dead. all is waste
round up children,
punks and grandmas,
pissed at corporate greeeeed
pissed at corporate gree-eeed.
silent spring, drilling rigs,
storms rip houses, scientists quiver
thanks a lot to
masters of apocalypse
soon it will crash and burn
soon it will all crash.
silent spring, drilling rigs,
all is dead. all is waste.
there is no luxury on a dead planet,
thanks a lot, master of apocalypse
rot in hell, greeedy scum
rot in hell, greeedy scummmmm