I have been so blessed. Like so, so blessed. I met the love of my life at the perfect time, sent him off to war and safely welcomed him home, and have two beautiful babies to snuggle each day.
But my life has changed significantly in the past few years and it's crazy to look at what used to make me happy, the life I used to lead, and the one I lead now. God works in mysterious ways and I just will never understand why he chose me to have the blessings I do.
I hit a really low point after college; I was mourning a breakup, drinking and going out like I was freaking Snooki herself, blowing money I didn't have, and was the most unhappy I had ever been. But on the outside, I was the life of the party and living life to the fullest. I masked the feelings I was having because I thought I was happy; I thought I could tell myself that the way I was acting and the things I was doing were what made me happy.
I used to hear people say "when you know, you know" when it comes to love and I was lucky enough to experience that feeling firsthand when I met Zach. There was absolutely no explanation why we met when we did and why things happened the way the did. But God intended for us to meet, fall in love, and bring two beautiful babies into the world.
People also used to tell me that everything that has happened: the heartbreak, the countless nights of crying, the hurtful words, the horrible things that were done to me, that they would all make sense one day. In the moment, I could never see how any of those things were happening to me and why I had to go through all of it.
But now I know. I know that I had to hit rock bottom to rise to the top. I know that I had to experience the bad to know how the good feels. And I know that I had to feel lust to know the beauty of true love.
And for that, I am truly thankful.
Have you counted your blessings lately? Look around you; they're everywhere. A hug, a kiss, a dance party in your living room. A milkshake on a bad day. A warm blanket and bowl of popcorn. Watching your kids play soccer. A glass of wine over a big bowl of pasta. A cup of coffee with a friend. A simple phone call to check in. A pizza picnic on the floor. All of these things, the things that may seem like no big deal will become a big deal when you're truly happy. You will relish in these small everyday occurrences and be content in the life you live.
My life isn't perfect and I'm certainly not perfect in the least bit. But the important thing that I've come to realize is that you have to make your own happiness sometimes. You have to be thankful for what you have and realize that someone else always has it worse. Find beauty in the chaos because when the storm ends, the rainbow will have made it worth it.
"Don't put off your happy life, be happy now"
There are always going to be people with more money, or a better body, or nicer clothes and cars. Someone is always going to try and rain on your parade, not everyone is going to like you, and not everyone is going to enhance your life in the way it deserves to be.
It's up to you to find your happiness and be happy in the moment... so what are you waiting for?