Does Being a Mum Always Mean Compromise?

Gwyneth Paltrow has been slated in the press lately for backing stay-at-home mums. ‘It may not be feminist,’ she has reportedly said, ‘but you have to compromise.’ As a stay-at-home mom myself, I do want to applaud Gwyneth for championing the cause of non-working mothers, but I have to say I don’t completely agree with what she said.

The truth is that compromise does have to be made when you have children. You simply cannot expect your life to work in the same way as it did in your childless days. A child is a great responsibility, and if you want to spend a fun-filled Saturday with your children you simply cannot stay out socialising till the wee hours of Friday night. Unless you’re superhuman, that is!

But I do think that this is very much about choice (or the lack of it). I think if a woman has the energy and the dedication then she could definitely continue a fulfilling career while being a great mom at the same time. What I don’t understand is why it is so looked down upon these days to be a full-time mom. I do this out of choice, not out of a sense of obligation. I do it because it’s what I want to do.

Gwyneth says that because she wants to maintain her marriage and her family, she has to be there when her husband gets home to make him dinner. That’s fine if she chooses to do that, but I don’t like the implication that women who don’t do this don’t care enough about their marriages or family. The reality is that most women these days don’t have the choice to stay at home, because their family needs two wages to keep it afloat.

I respect every woman’s choice, whether that is to work or not to work as a mother, but unlike Gwyneth, I also understand that most women today don’t have that choice.