I read an article the other day about shifts in spending habits. Apparently there are some people in the U.S., even those with substantial holdings, who have cut back enough on going out for dinner, cut back on vacations, on general discretionary celebration and recreational spending, cut back enough to affect the incomes of those with the least amount of wiggle-room.
The move is toward a do-it-yourself vision of the future.
This got me thinking.
When you stop, say, having your silly and long-haired cat’s ass shaved (followed by a lovely bath, blow-dry and general puffery), what you’re effectively saying is, “Hey, Mr. Professional Cat’s-Ass Shaver, forget your rent and your groceries! I’m going to go against the natural order of things and shave my own fuzzy-butted animal!”
Now what kind of citizen would I be if I did that?
Ladies and Gentlemen! We must think of our bartenders, our waitresses, our tanning salons, our taxis! We must think of our florists, our bouncers and ticket-takers!
Look at the person next to you! Does he work on the weekend reshingling rooves? Does she pick up extra hours as a restaurant hostess?
Does she write chapbooks to pay for carpal tunnel surgery?
As a person whose labor is paid for by the hour, as corporate charwoman, as a banquet server, cleaning lady, painter of interiors, as a professional writer, I cannae sit idly by while my Working Class Fellows stand, ready to serve!
They can take our paychecks, but they can never take our freedom!!!
So! I’m going out for a beer! No – two! Two beers! And dagnab it, people, I’m going to tip 20% – more if the server flirts with me!
Who’s with me?!!!
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have, uh, an appointment to make to have my cat groomed.
I am also quite serious about needing to sell chapbooks to pay for the carpal tunnel surgery I need. Please see the header of my blog and consider buying my books. They're small, they're goofy, and they'll come delivered to the address of your choice via the good ol' US Postal Service.